Bloom-i-fication: Transform Your Midlife with Andrea Clebb

In this episode of the Kindling Project podcast, Melissa Halpin speaks with Andrea Clegg, founder of Bloomified Life, about the transformative journey of midlife women. They discuss the concept of 'bloomification', the importance of community, and the need to challenge cultural narratives surrounding aging. Andrea shares insights on navigating midlife transitions, busting myths about aging, and the significance of self-advocacy. The conversation emphasizes the power of sharing experiences, the importance of creativity, and the idea that it's never too late to pursue one's passions. They also explore the value of intergenerational connections and the wisdom that can be shared between women of all ages.

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Transcript

Melissa Halpin (00:11)
Welcome back to the Kindling Project podcast where we talk about what it means to come alive, especially in middle life when so many of us are craving something deeper and something real. Today we're talking with Andrea Clebb founder of Bloomified Life, a community and coaching space where midlife women are redefining what it means to grow and to thrive. Andrea, it's so nice to have you.

Andrea Corp (00:35)
Yay, I'm so happy to be here and finally have this conversation. Yes, thank you for having me.

Melissa Halpin (00:42)
Yeah, me too. I've been following

you for a while and we've crossed paths a few times and worked on a project together and I just, I just love what you're doing at Bloomified and I feel like you're my soul sister on the other side of Metro Detroit because we're talking about a lot of the same stuff.

Andrea Corp (01:00)
Yes, yes, I know. And we need to do something together again. Yeah, soon.

Melissa Halpin (01:05)
I'm in. So starting with

this podcast recording, but who knows what next. So bloomified life is such a beautiful concept. Can you tell us what bloomified means to you?

Andrea Corp (01:10)
Yes.

So, bloomified came about the term bloomify, the word. I do a lot of journal writing and I think I forget which birthday it was, but I was writing a stream of consciousness writing about how, you know, I am not going to just be diminished and I'm actually going to bloom. And in fact, I'm going to bloomify. And so it was taking this

Melissa Halpin (01:21)
Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (01:41)
word bloom to flourish and grow and blossom and actually add the if I to it to represent that I think that this midlife space is the most powerful time to bloom. So.

Melissa Halpin (01:55)
Yeah,

I love that and I agree with that. I agree with it on certain days, right? Like I have my days where I'm just, I'm blooming at the edges. And then I have my days where I feel like, gosh, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed. I mean, it's like, we all need the reminder in the community and the structure, I think, just to get the most out of this time in our lives.

Andrea Corp (02:02)
Yes.

Yes.

Yes, and that's so true and an important point because, you know, this is the whole concept, my community, the workshops. It is all about celebrating aging and looking at the opportunities in aging. But I always say this is not toxic positivity. So an important part of this is to be authentic and real and feel your feelings all the way. And

Melissa Halpin (02:36)
Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (02:49)
Yeah, that's a huge part of it. There are negative things that come with aging and the joint pain and the inflammation and the tiredness and the emotional roller coaster. So there are those things that we deal with and we can be there for each other, but it's important to affirm each other in that way too and not just move into any...

Melissa Halpin (02:57)
Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, it's not

like a plaque at TJ Maxx or a hashtag. Right? I mean, there's a time and place for celebration and cute things and cute remarks, but I do think that there's a lot of seriousness and there's a lot of education and there's a lot of real authentic sharing that involves joy and tears, right?

Andrea Corp (03:16)
Yes, yes.

Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (03:37)
Yeah, so

was there a turning point for you that sort of sparked this passion? I know you mentioned journaling.

Andrea Corp (03:43)
Yes.

Yes. I've always been into personal development and women's empowerment and things like that and dipped my toes into it along the way. But it was during this transition, this perimenopause period where, you know, your hormones are out of whack. It's an emotional roller coaster. And I just remember looking in the mirror one day and thinking, I am not the

person that I used to be. Like I don't connect with that person anymore, yet I don't know who I'm becoming yet. So it's like this liminal space of in between. And I remember thinking, you know, other women probably want to talk about this kind of things like who am I becoming? And all of the things that happen in this roller coaster and this transition that are beyond the whole Botox.

stuff, know, the age and the cliches and like more of the meaning and yeah, just being truthful about what's going on.

Melissa Halpin (04:38)
Yes, yes.

Yeah, I think a lot of Gen X women feel like they're in that strange in-between space. What are you hearing from the other women in your community?

Andrea Corp (04:57)
Yeah, a lot of the same. First, I wanna go back and add one thing I just thought of, if you don't mind. So also at that time, this whole time when I was thinking about where I was in life, I also noticed I was looking at myself in the mirror through the eyes of the culture, almost like this cultural narrative around aging. was like internalized ageism. So I was...

Melissa Halpin (04:59)
We're

Okay, no.

You know?

Yes.

Andrea Corp (05:22)
I was looking at myself thinking, in everyone's eyes, I'm at an age where I'm gonna matter less, or I'm not as sexy, not that that's the most important thing, but you know, it goes all of hand in hand, or the whole diminished. And I remember thinking to myself, I'm looking at myself through the culture's eyes, and I don't feel that way inside. Like, I'm still this star of my story. And then at that moment, I was like,

Hell no, I am the star of my story and I am reframing this and I am going to be the star of my story till the end. I'm resisting that cultural narrative. That's a big part of it too, yeah.

Melissa Halpin (06:00)
You know, that's so important to model that, like for each other and for our daughters that are following us. It's super important. I have felt a lot of that, that sort of, it's like you wake up one day and not as many people hold the door open for you. And it's really not like I want to trade on any kind of I'm sexy or I'm cute or I'm desirable. It's not that I need to trade on that. It's that you just have an awareness of

Andrea Corp (06:07)
Yes.

Okay, what?

Melissa Halpin (06:26)
You know, I've been letting my hair go gray, which it's like so much more emotional and social and cultural than like a fashion decision or a hair styling decision, right? Like you're getting, all of a sudden I'm getting more may-ums and I'm like, am I okay with may-um? I think I am okay with may-um. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Andrea Corp (06:29)
Mmmmm

Yes. Yes.

Yeah, right. And I think that's all a part of this middle space, right? It's like, it's

that change from how you were perceived to how you are seeing the perception shift and then like coming to terms with what you wanna do with that. And I love the power that comes along with letting your hair go gray. It's beautiful, by the way. But I've heard from...

Melissa Halpin (07:03)
Right.

Thank you. Thanks.

Andrea Corp (07:13)
other women in my community. That is a loaded thing for women. It is not a loaded thing.

Melissa Halpin (07:16)
It really is,

because all of a sudden, I I still have teenagers at home. Well, I have a 16-year-old and a 20-year-old. But all of a sudden, I'm almost in a grandma category. Wait, wait, wait. I'm only 52. I'm not ready for this.

Andrea Corp (07:27)
Right?

Yes, some women in my community have also pointed out they want to let their hair go gray, but because of their positions in their business, they feel like some of our leaders have leadership roles and they feel like they will be not as respected anymore with the gray, which is the opposite for men, you know?

Melissa Halpin (07:39)
Yeah.

Yep.

100

% it's the opposite for men. Yeah, salt and pepper hair, even on a 35-year-old man, gives him some gravitas. And then here I am, I started letting it go gray at 50, and I'm a couple years in. And it changes perception about who you are. And I'm in a marketing and branding space when I'm not doing the Kindling Project. And so it's associated with trends. And it's associated with what's current.

Andrea Corp (07:55)
Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (08:18)
And I feel like, does this mean I'm out of touch? Yeah. Right. It's a fear. It's a concern. For real.

Andrea Corp (08:22)
Right, right.

Yeah,

yeah, that is so genuine and what so many of us feel. I would argue to say that you're leading the trend and not out of touch, you know, like this is.

Melissa Halpin (08:37)
Yeah, I

want to step into my power. And also, I've worked hard for the wisdom. Part of what I'm doing at the Kindling Project, and I think this is also part of what you're doing at Bloomifad Life, is I want to share that knowledge. I want to save some other woman coming up behind me some time or some hard lesson. And I want to commiserate and laugh and experience it not by myself in some kind of isolation.

Andrea Corp (08:44)
Yes!

Yes.

exactly we are so like aligned with our missions here. All of that is what the mission is and what happens at Bloomified. And it's interesting, you know, that's what I want for women my age and beyond and the ones that are following our paths. And the most surprising thing that I, it's delightful, or I don't know if that's the right word, but is that young women

Melissa Halpin (09:06)
Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (09:32)
are loving this, the impact it's having on young women and how they want to be involved with this. And they, like I've had so many young women say, my gosh, I'm jealous because I want to join your community or you make me excited to get older. like that is means so much. I never even thought of that part of it. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (09:34)
Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

It means

so much to model it. Yeah, I have a 20-year-old daughter. I have a lot of women in their 30s who work for me. And it's super important. It's super flattering. And it feels super empowering to share, right? Yep. So.

Andrea Corp (10:07)
Yes. And that's a big

role. I mean, that's a big thing that we step into with our power is sharing our experience and our wisdom with younger women. It's like this whole legacy while you're here kind of thing where it's like, yeah, we're stepping into that role of mentor and guides. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (10:27)
Yes.

And I think that we didn't get it because there was so much shame around it, right? Our mothers and our grandmothers did not talk about aging or menopause. I mean, even a lot of people in our age group aren't talking about it. Doctors aren't even talking about it because they're sort of like, it's a medical thing, or it's for your doctor's office, or there's some sort of shame about it, or.

Andrea Corp (10:34)
Yes.

Melissa Halpin (10:51)
You know, we live in such a youth-oriented society that nobody's trying to fess up to a hot flesh, right? But I feel like talking about it helps, you know, it helps dispel a lot of myths, right?

Andrea Corp (10:58)
Yes! Yes. Yes.

Yeah, it does. And when we're sharing in my community at workshops or events and we go around and introduce ourselves, I encourage women to also share their age because in the past where I was like, don't ask a woman's age or like it's something to be, you know, ashamed about. it's, and it's like, no, let's turn this around and be proud of our age and celebrate it.

Melissa Halpin (11:22)
Right.

Right.

Andrea Corp (11:35)
Yeah, so that's just a little thing that.

Melissa Halpin (11:35)
I'm a-

it's a little big thing. So what other myths are you trying to bust? We talked about sharing your age, we talked about gray hair, but there's gotta be others.

Andrea Corp (11:39)
Yeah.

Myths, just the myth that the party's over, you've had your best days and now you can just chill out and like you're not gonna do anything great anymore. I mean, that's one thing.

Melissa Halpin (11:51)
Right.

Right, it's it's

just right off into the sunset. Well, and I think we're living longer and we're staying more vital and vibrant longer. And so we aren't ready for rocking chairs.

Andrea Corp (12:04)
Right, yeah.

Yes.

Exactly. We are so not

ready for rocking chairs. In fact, again, I do believe it's the most powerful chance to bloom. you know, let's see, so the three most in all my studies, because I go so down this whole aging path I have for the last several years, the three most important

Melissa Halpin (12:18)
Yeah.

Andrea Corp (12:34)
factors for aging and longevity is one, reframing the narrative, which is a huge part of like we've talked about. There was a study out of Yale, I think, and I forget the woman's name right off the bat. She wrote a book, but she wrote about how just reframing and seeing the positive about aging and getting older will extend your life by seven years.

Melissa Halpin (12:36)
Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Andrea Corp (12:57)
or

seven and a half years or something, more so than exercise and all the other things that we need. And then number two was purpose. Having a sense of purpose as you get older is a huge part of flourishing in your older age. so like busting up the myths like you're talking about, we're not over. It's like we are now transitioning into this new part of life where we can tap into

Melissa Halpin (13:04)
Right.

Andrea Corp (13:23)
all of our callings that still call us, some of our regrets. I love exploring regrets. I know some people are all about no regrets. No, I love exploring it because we can let go of some and think about what is still calling us out of those regrets. we can now turn, know, like I use the example of how I regretted that I didn't go to a creative school and like study art and be an artist. And then I'm like,

Melissa Halpin (13:26)
Yes, yeah. Right.

Mm-hmm.

Me too.

Andrea Corp (13:50)
Really? We are soul sisters.

Melissa Halpin (13:51)
Yeah. Yeah, I really, I mean, I ended up studying art history and minoring in art, but so I was sort of adjacent to it and I've been working in my career the whole time as a creative director, so it's adjacent to it. But I still have this passion of maybe I should just quit everything and go do an MFA in painting. I just dedicate my time to painting.

Andrea Corp (14:14)
Take me with you, please.

Melissa Halpin (14:15)
Yeah, maybe we should move,

maybe that we need to figure that out. You know, I think about it all the time of like, it's always been raising kids or starting a career or building a business. All these other things have always gotten in the way. But then when you get to a certain age where you think two years isn't that much time. And then when you're doing an MFA, like maybe it's only two semesters a year. So you have the summer off and like.

I could have prioritized this somehow. then also, like you're saying, it's not too late. Yeah. Right.

Andrea Corp (14:43)
Yes, yes, it's not too late. That whole,

I'm kind of all over the board with, because as you're talking and I'm like, yes, yes. And then I have all, I, because I'm so excited about this topic, creativity. So yeah, let me kind of get back to what I was saying just so I can finish that thought. But yes, looking at your regrets and thinking, okay, this is still calling me. The creativity is still calling me school, whatever it is. And how can I?

Be an artist now, well, I can make art every day. So it's reframing that. So that was number two about purpose is so important. And then number three is about social wellness. The factor that points to a life when you're 80 that is flourishing and set up for longevity is

Melissa Halpin (15:13)
Right, Yeah.

Okay.

Andrea Corp (15:33)
how you connected with community in your 50s. So I think that is so relevant too. I don't know how I got there, but I got from the myths to a couple of things that are the most important things about aging.

Melissa Halpin (15:42)
Yeah.

Yeah, those are

the three things. So let's sum them up again, since we kind of wandered all over.

Andrea Corp (15:50)
Okay,

okay, I know and I still have more of that to talk about. One is reframing the narrative about looking at the positives, having purpose and meaning.

Melissa Halpin (15:54)
Okay, so number one.

reframing the narrative. Number two.

Yes. And number three.

Andrea Corp (16:04)
social wellness or community.

Melissa Halpin (16:06)
Yeah, so if you take anything from this conversation, those are three things to sort of write down and remember.

Andrea Corp (16:11)
Absolutely. Yes. If I can, I don't wanna like steer us off too much, but okay. As we're talking about creativity, it's reminding me, a lot of the women I notice in the community too, are going towards creativity. It's like, it's sparking something in them.

Melissa Halpin (16:17)
please, please.

Yes.

Yes.

Andrea Corp (16:32)
And along my studies, I learned that Margaret Mead, who's an anthropologist, actually talked about this time of life being, what did she say? There is no, she calls it post-menopausal zest, which I love this, but it's all about that actually there is no more creative force than a post-menopausal woman.

Melissa Halpin (16:47)
Mm.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (16:55)
And that

ties along with this indigenous belief, the ancient indigenous belief that

Hold on, where was I going with this? okay, so they believe that when you go through menopause, the first fertility of the body transforms into the fertility of the spirit. And I love, I know, this is why I'm like, I get so excited about it. Thinking about like the power, the creativity, the spirit that you come into, yeah.

Melissa Halpin (17:08)
Mm-hmm.

I love that. It gives me chills.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel it. I feel it within myself. And I guess we all sort of come up with our own metaphors along the way, but that really is what I was thinking about even when I named the kindling project of like, there's those little fires and sometimes they just need a little kindling that we haven't been giving them. And it's like, just takes off. And maybe that's

Andrea Corp (17:28)
Yes.

you

Melissa Halpin (17:48)
because of an age you are in your life or a phase you are in your life or the time just comes. I mean, it comes for people at different ages as well. But as women, so often we aren't putting kindling on our own fires. They're there the whole time. You're kind of aware of it the whole time of I want to paint or I want to travel or I want to run for public office or I want to write a book. Like, I do really feel that

Andrea Corp (17:57)
Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (18:16)
Obviously for you and I, right, we're sensitives and we're empathic and we're creative. But I think for all women there's that drive, some sort of creativity, some kind of what am I making? What am I creating? What am I leaving? Yeah.

Andrea Corp (18:22)
There is.

Yes, yes,

yeah, what am I leaving? It's like letting go of who you used to be and the parts that don't fit anymore or maybe never did, letting that go and moving into this, like your truest self, things that are still calling you, the things that, know, Carl Jung says,

Melissa Halpin (18:39)
Right.

Right. Right.

Andrea Corp (18:50)
midlife or aging is about. So the first half of life is all about doing what the world asks of you. And the second half of life is doing what the soul asks of you. And that's one of my favorite things too.

Melissa Halpin (18:58)
Yes.

Yeah. And it's a nice way to reframe a menopause, not so much as a medical event, but as a catalyst for transformation.

Andrea Corp (19:13)
Yes.

Yes. Ooh, yeah. I love that. It is. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (19:17)
Yeah. So

you're focusing a lot on the community. Why is that especially vital?

Andrea Corp (19:24)
I think it goes back to what I said about how important that is to aging and longevity, having a sense of community. It's also important because it's easy to get lost for individual women in the cultural narrative and to be together with women who are looking for deeper, more meaningful substance in life and sharing their downs.

Melissa Halpin (19:46)
Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (19:49)
and affirming each other is huge. And then what else? It's, I remember hearing, I think it was Chip Conley who was saying that, when we, know, menopause is basically like the reversal of starting your period and those hormonal changes when you're 13 years old. And it's like,

Melissa Halpin (19:49)
Yeah. Right.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (20:08)
Think back to when we were in middle school or like all those puberty transitions and you have your friends. You have all of your friends that you go to school with or that you're in groups and you're all going through these things kind of together. The first kiss, your period, you tell your friends. When you're this age, you don't have that anymore. You are more alone in your experiences. You don't know what's normal. You can't.

Melissa Halpin (20:24)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Andrea Corp (20:37)
You you might have friends, might have grown out of some relationships though and lost your community. And so this is a way to have this like sharing space and just giving space for people to experience the transformation.

Melissa Halpin (20:37)
Right.

It really looks like you're doing a beautiful job curating that space. Do you have any sort of, I don't know what they would be, tips? How do you make a community that feels welcoming or what is it that you're doing that's working and not working as you continue to build these different workshops and events?

Andrea Corp (20:58)
Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, it's so interesting because it's always evolving. And sometimes I need to take a break from even thinking about that because I'm always like, what's working? What's not working? What's working? But it's been such a learning experience. I think the biggest tip or like the biggest thing that women want even more than learning is to share, is to talk, is to share of themselves.

Melissa Halpin (21:24)
Right, right, right.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm.

Andrea Corp (21:39)
in a safe space, a non-judgmental safe space where we can hold their venting or sharing or they're asking for recommendations. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (21:50)
Mm-hmm. Even dreaming,

think permission to dream.

Andrea Corp (21:53)
Yes, yes, permission. Permission is a big one. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (21:56)
Yeah. Right.

Yeah, feeling like it's OK to take up the space. That's what I always say I'm doing is we're creating space. We're building platforms. We're building tables. Because just having an invitation in and then having the permission to share is huge for a lot of us. Yeah.

Andrea Corp (22:14)
Yes, it is.

Yeah, I have these rings in my shop. They're so popular and they're called remember rings and they say different words on them. I'm all about wearing your words and like permission is just reminding me of some of the words. Like one of our most popular one is unapologetic. It's like women get to this stage in life.

Melissa Halpin (22:36)
Mmm.

Andrea Corp (22:40)
where they are done being there. They're done apologizing for who they are. They're ready to take up space. They're ready to say, fuck it, that's another big popular rink. yeah, or remember who the fuck you are. I hope cursing is allowed on your podcast. There's so much of that sassiness and the rebellious, cheeky stuff.

Melissa Halpin (22:45)
Yes, exactly.

get it. Yeah.

The thing is 100 % encouraged.

Right.

Andrea Corp (23:05)
in this space. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (23:06)
It feels good. There's a reason we're embracing that right now is so many of us have been told to be nice. Yeah, we're told to be nice and we're conditioned to put other people's needs in front of our own. I mean, I've gotten into way too many relationships to count where at some point you realize I've compromised too much. And also that's on me. Right?

Andrea Corp (23:12)
Yes.

Yes.

Yeah? Yes.

Melissa Halpin (23:32)
Because I've gotten in and out of certain relationships, whether it's people who work for me or clients or a community board you're on for the school or whatever, where I feel like, am I being taken advantage of? Why does this always happen to me? And I'm getting to that point in my life of like, you give it away. You give it away, you give it away until you've trained people to treat you a certain way that you don't like.

Andrea Corp (23:45)
Thank you.

Yes. Yes.

So true. I think just the way we were raised in our generation, we were raised to like the younger women now, because we re-raised them. So we should be proud of that, but they are more outspoken. They are not laughing at jokes that just because, you know, like they are taking up space and we should be proud of raising them. But I think for our generation, you do get to this stage where it's like, I'm done with that.

Melissa Halpin (24:05)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Right.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (24:25)
And also, it's not just a magic like, okay, I'm done with that. And like, I have this wisdom and I've changed. I think it's what I've discovered anyways, it's a practice. It's a practice and it will probably be a practice till the end of my time anyways, just from years of putting, know, not taking up as much space. yeah, being that.

Melissa Halpin (24:52)
Yeah.

Andrea Corp (24:53)
polite or codependent basically.

Melissa Halpin (24:56)
Right. Well, and you and I had this conversation before we started the podcast. There is just a cultural phenomenon happening where people are taking up more space in public and getting comfortable, getting comfortable being on this podcast or being on your social media channels or having your picture taken more or your video or your audio recorded more. you know, there's a whole journey with

Andrea Corp (25:07)
Yes.

Melissa Halpin (25:20)
That sort of self acceptance that I know I'm still working on. I know. Yeah.

Andrea Corp (25:25)
Yep,

I agree. So many of us are working on that. And you asked earlier, what's the most, what are you hearing from women? And I think I went in different directions, but it's that the taking up space is probably the biggest one. It's, I am done, I've spent all of these years putting my needs aside or my dreams aside.

Melissa Halpin (25:39)
Yep.

Andrea Corp (25:49)
or being a parent or a mother if you're a mother, which is wonderful. But now it's time for me and rediscovering what do I want and how I'm going to show up in the world now to take up that space.

Melissa Halpin (26:02)
Well, I'm walking side by side with you. I'm right here, Smiths. I'm right here. So what do we say to women that think or say or believe it's too late?

Andrea Corp (26:06)
Well, I love her, it's young.

Right. It's, I think that it's, I mean, it's so cliche. It's of course never too late. There are all those stories and I don't have any off the top of my head of people that didn't do something great until later in life, right? Like write a book or create a masterpiece or whatever it is. But I think the most important thing is,

Melissa Halpin (26:26)
Yes.

Right.

Andrea Corp (26:34)
If you say it's too late, then it's too late. I mean, how are you walking in the world? Like it's up to you to be the star of your story. It's up to you to decide to create the story that you want to star in. And until you make that decision and just put yourself out there, nobody else can change that for you. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (26:38)
right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, and in the back of my mind, something you said earlier in this conversation about just changing the narrative in your own mind can add years to your life. So too late could be like a kind of a structural thing of like, oh, 50 is too late to start a business. But actually too late could refer to the amount of actual years you have left based on your attitude and your health, right? Yeah.

Andrea Corp (27:05)
Yes.

Yes.

Yes, that's another

thing I saw a speaker online was talking about, I forget his name, but he's very kind of abrupt and like tell it like it is. he's like, stop saying it's too late. What, how old are you? 45, 50? You still have half of your life left or you could have half of your life left. So it's, if not, this is...

Melissa Halpin (27:32)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Andrea Corp (27:45)
I think the coming of age and this age that happens is if not now, when? That's what all my dreams had been calling me, calling me, calling me little by little. And I got to a point where I was out of alignment and then heard the calling still. And I thought like, okay, if not now, when? Now is the time. It is not too, yeah.

Melissa Halpin (27:50)
Right.

Right,

Yeah. That's really an important question to ask yourself. What other kinds of things are helping women in your community get unstuck?

Andrea Corp (28:10)
Yeah.

I think...

I just thought of that whole quote that the cure for stuck is still. And that's something I talk about in my Finding Magic in Midlife course. And it's all about like really not trying to rush through this transitional time that doesn't feel so great. But sometimes you just need to be with your feelings and be still. this is something I didn't know I had to learn.

Melissa Halpin (28:23)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (28:44)
but I have learned is get out of your head and into your body and listen to it and trust yourself. We so as women haven't trusted ourselves, many of us, shouldn't lump us all together, but, and so I think like taking the time, I call it spiritual magic, taking the time to journal, develop that sense of self-awareness and

Melissa Halpin (29:08)
Right.

Andrea Corp (29:08)
integrating. Okay, yes, we get to a certain age and we have these experiences and we have this wisdom, but all these lessons we've learned, I guess all these lessons and experience don't mean anything until we integrate the wisdom. Like life will just take us, but if we're not paying attention and taking time to journal or meditate or just be still and walking and listening to our body,

Melissa Halpin (29:13)
Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (29:34)
We're not gonna integrate the experience and lessons into wisdom, which is the gift of an aging woman. yeah, I don't know. I think that's complete. I don't know like I was gonna go.

Melissa Halpin (29:43)
That's perfect. No, that's beautiful.

That's perfect. Yeah. I do think integration is a theme of this age. And the listening to the body when you were talking, I was thinking about even when my body is screaming at me, right? So in my case, I have psoriatic arthritis, so I get joint inflammation.

Andrea Corp (29:49)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Melissa Halpin (30:08)
And

even when it's really yelling at me and screaming at me to take a rest, I am loath to listen to that. So that's the first barrier is that I'm loath to listen to it. But then when I finally get to the point where, no, no, no, I can't ignore this anymore. I'm taking too many anti-inflammatories. I'm icing. It's hard to go up and down the steps. I'm going to go ask for help.

I have often found that the medical community is then again, if not loathe to listen to it, somewhat dismissive or somewhat cautious about acknowledging, this really happening? Did you try this? Did you try that? It took me so much to elevate it to my own awareness, like I'm gonna deal with this. And then I go to deal with it and then I still get this sort of like, really?

well, that's just your age or did you try gluten-free diet or something that feels like not acknowledgement, like, you're hurting too much to do your daily life. It's a big deal. you ignored it, ignored it, ignored it. And you finally got here and now I'm gonna send you back feeling like, big of a deal is it really?

Andrea Corp (31:03)
Thank you.

Yes, my gosh, I struggle with all those things, inflammation, joint pain. And I actually have a torn tendon in my rotator cuff. I have to have surgery and I'm putting it off because that health insurance is another whole story. But yeah, people are dismissive. One, I want to acknowledge that. And we need to advocate for ourselves. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (31:16)
Yep.

no.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (31:34)
Doctors do not study. Like I've heard all of this information lately about that. OBs, doctors, they are not, they're trained for like an hour on menopause. You know, they're not even trained to deal with it. So they don't even have all of the information to help you. So they're going to point to your age instead of like, these are the things you can expect.

Melissa Halpin (31:50)
Right.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (31:58)
Like, what can we do to help you? This is a real thing. This is not just a, go off and figure it out yourself, you know?

Melissa Halpin (32:01)
Right.

Right.

And maybe don't wait till I'm in here a crying mess. Maybe you could be giving me some information or some guidance about what to expect or what to look for or how to pre-treat or pre-care for yourself before you're at a crisis. I mean, everything is so focused on the band-aid to the problem instead of sort of

Andrea Corp (32:11)
Yes.

Yes.

Melissa Halpin (32:33)
the pre-treatment or the preparation for.

Andrea Corp (32:35)
Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Like creating the expectations and managing them so that you can be validated and then, yeah, and then have something in place to help. Yeah. I know.

Melissa Halpin (32:40)
Yeah.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah, I

think that's where I know that's where I found myself and so many women my age found ourselves is like looking at each other like, this happening to you too?

Andrea Corp (32:58)
Yeah, yeah. Yes, and I have been

studying this for a while and like my whole social media is inundated with only all menopause, midlife, all of that. So I always assume that everybody else like has all this information, but they don't and they need to be reminded that it's there. Yes, and that like sharing the information is really important. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (33:09)
Yes, yes.

Hi.

They don't. They don't. Right.

Well, and I have a feeling that the reason it's in my social media and in yours is that we've clicked on it and we've looked at it. That doesn't mean it's widely distributed conversation and information, right? Because the way algorithms work, we've shown an interest or raised our hand that we want to talk about it or read about it. But I still think culturally, it's kind of a mystery.

Andrea Corp (33:34)
Yeah.

Yeah, and you're reminding me that when I went to, I went to my gyno and I presented to her like, okay, these are the things that are happening and what are your thoughts on hormone replacement therapy? It's like, why, and I did all like this, I'm not a doctor and I don't wanna be that, and I'm not an expert on that in any way, but I want my doctor.

Melissa Halpin (34:07)
homework. Yeah.

Andrea Corp (34:14)
to tell me, I don't want to have to go to them. And it's like, yeah, that's just a way that they're not preparing us. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (34:17)
Right.

Yeah, I'm having that same experience. Well, I do think these conversations that we're having in the community that you're building and the community I'm building, hopefully we're just making space for that kind of connection and knowledge share.

Andrea Corp (34:36)
Yes, yes. Yeah, my thing is sometimes it's like when we're sharing, it's like, you the whole like vent share? Do you have a vent, a share or an ask? And of course venting, you know, is not about toxic dumping, but it's about processing and sharing what's real so that you can move forward and not live in that space of, you know, negativity or the feelings. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (34:38)
Yeah.

Right.

love that. I feel like we've been able to do a little venting in this conversation. It feels good. It feels good to be seen. Yeah. So another thing here that we kind of like to ask, what about kindling? What is it that you're currently putting on your fire that's working?

Andrea Corp (35:06)
It does. It really does. Yeah.

Interesting, the kindling thing. love that. So beautiful, Melissa. It's it's really beautiful and it speaks to me for two reasons. OK, so what is kindling right now? I'm really, really excited about I'm getting my shop online and I'm creating these bundles, creating my own product for gift bundles, including like

Melissa Halpin (35:23)
Thanks.

We'll

Andrea Corp (35:41)
candles and tea and rituals to, you know, celebrate aging and all of that. And because I'm a creative, I'm really, really excited about that part. So yeah, that's what's kindling. And what I wanna add to that is that that's how I follow myself these days. When my body, I feel like I'm on fire with something, like,

Melissa Halpin (35:44)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Andrea Corp (36:04)
So the whole kindling, the fire, yeah,

Melissa Halpin (36:06)
Yeah, yeah, me too.

Andrea Corp (36:08)
then I follow that. And it's like, instead before I would just analyze the crap out of everything. And now it's like, ooh, I have this idea and I notice the spark, the kindle, the flame and my body's on fire. I know I'm going to go in that direction.

Melissa Halpin (36:15)
Right.

Yeah.

And then the more you start doing that, I found, the more you start doing that sort of naturally and intuitively, that's where the answers are. And that's why you feel like that swell inside of you or that flame inside of you is it really is our bodies telling us where we're supposed to be. I don't know how we get so far away from listening to it and dimming it because

Andrea Corp (36:32)
Yes?

Melissa Halpin (36:51)
Every time I pursue that space, that is where all the answers are.

Andrea Corp (36:56)
Totally. That's

the biggest lesson. I sometimes I look at younger women who are already in tune with that. And I'm like, wow, that is impressive. Because if I had known that piece of wisdom a long time ago, even say meditating a long time ago, I, okay, I did it. And I got some, a lot of benefit from it, but I still didn't really like tap into the fact that

Melissa Halpin (37:04)
Yes.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (37:24)
I'm listening to my body and to feel and to look for the hints and the clues to be quiet and allow space for that. Cause that is the true you wisdom. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (37:29)
Yeah.

I just got an idea while you were talking. So in general, I'm not a little kid person. I loved my own little kids, and I did all the things with my own little kids, but I don't see myself sort of in a teacher kind of role. But how powerful would it be to run workshops for little girls to just help them know what that feeling is?

Andrea Corp (37:41)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yes. my gosh.

Melissa Halpin (37:59)
to

identify it at a younger and younger age because I feel or I suspect that many times when that feeling was inside of me, I was told you're too much or yeah, that somehow draw in between the lines or,

Andrea Corp (38:13)
Yes.

Melissa Halpin (38:18)
maybe don't talk so much or you can't always be a mess or you can't always do a creative project. You have to sit and you have to follow rules. And so I think that it's pretty early on that your brain sort of associates that feeling with, I have to keep this inside. I can't show it to the world. I have to maintain it. I have to rein it in. And what if we could help little people sooner?

identify with it as a guide.

Andrea Corp (38:45)
I love, love that idea so much. I used to be an elementary school teacher and a girl circle facilitator, but we never did anything like that. Like that is brilliant. And you're right. Like we,

Melissa Halpin (38:59)
Yeah

Andrea Corp (39:02)
But the big thing is I didn't trust myself. was always looking outside of myself for everybody else like they knew more than me. And I had the answers for all the same reasons that you're talking about. And to teach little girls that would, yeah, you want to do that together? Yeah. Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (39:07)
Yeah.

Right.

Let's do that. for sure. Because

I tend to be sort of a very nonlinear thinker. So all these thoughts are like this and this and this chiming around my head while we're having this conversation. I do think that this is very specific to little girls and that we weren't encouraged to feel these feelings. That's what turns them off at such a young age.

Andrea Corp (39:38)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Melissa Halpin (39:42)
They just come back, you know, the knock gets louder and louder as you get older and older, right? They can't stay away. But maybe they don't come back for everybody. Maybe you and I are lucky. Right?

Andrea Corp (39:47)
Yeah.

Right, yeah,

that's true. Or yeah, listening, we're listening.

Melissa Halpin (39:58)
We're listening

we can't avoid it. You know it's that those creative urges have Been put aside too long, but yeah, I like that idea I like I like I love that what we're doing for women in community, but I like the idea of maybe introducing this to younger girls Yeah

Andrea Corp (40:05)
Yeah.

I love it.

Yeah, I have,

so one of my events is a triple goddess wisdom circle. The point of that is that I think that younger women and older women have so much wisdom to share. And the triple goddess being that the archetypes of the maiden, the mother and the crone. So it's open to all women. And I've only had a couple so far, but.

Melissa Halpin (40:20)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Andrea Corp (40:39)
I had some younger women come the last time and this one young woman, whoa, I was blown away by her insight and her depth and her wisdom. She's 31 and anyways, she was like, I just love this. So this is part of like the younger women who love this too. And so she's gonna be doing some things in my space as a younger person. So I love, yeah, touching all of the different ages.

Melissa Halpin (41:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I love

that.

Andrea Corp (41:07)
and the little girls, that's a whole other summer camp thing that could happen.

Melissa Halpin (41:14)
Yeah,

let's do it. Well, went last night, went, my daughter's 20 and she and I went to see Beth Gibbons. Do you know singer Portishead?

Andrea Corp (41:22)
no I don't.

Melissa Halpin (41:23)
Okay, well, I'll send you a link, but she's one of my favorites from way back when I was in my 20s. And now my daughter has embraced some of my music and it just feels so powerful to have that kind of connection. When you share art or you share music or you share space, I mean, obviously there's the mother-daughter element, but there's also the maiden, the mother, and the crone aspect of, you know, just being in a room with multi-generations is...

Andrea Corp (41:36)
Ugh.

Melissa Halpin (41:51)
I think we don't do it enough in American culture. I mean, I think there's other cultures that maybe haven't lost that as much as we have.

Andrea Corp (41:54)
We don't.

Yeah,

we don't, we're all like segregated kind of. so I have a political group too, and that's open to all ages. And my daughters came to that. And what I loved, so they're 27 and 25, my daughters, and was really interesting. And my daughters and I are so close. We have a text thread, text each other 8 million times a day. And we're like besties as well as the mother daughter thing. But.

Melissa Halpin (42:07)
Mm-hmm.

Andrea Corp (42:25)
their comments about, wow, it was really cool to hear the feelings and views of these women, these older women that, know, just in a, it's not outside of the mother daughter thing. And it's like outside of their friend group, but like sharing about in this case, politics and different issues and their feelings on it their sadness and their fear. It was really powerful for the younger women.

Melissa Halpin (42:34)
Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Andrea Corp (42:53)
to hear that and then also for the older women to be like, wow, impressed with, yeah, the younger women too.

Melissa Halpin (42:58)
Right.

often have that thought of, we caring for them enough? Because I know the extent of my concern and my overwhelm in a political or cultural or social realm. And I think if I can't navigate this or I'm struggling to navigate this, how are people who are just trying to launch their life, just trying to figure out how to pay rent or

Andrea Corp (43:04)
I feel you.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Melissa Halpin (43:26)
what their

career is gonna be, how are they navigating this? It's a lot.

Andrea Corp (43:29)
I know.

It is, I often think of that because when we grew up, okay, yes, there were bullies, but they were few and far between and they were stopped in their tracks when they were bullied at school or something. But now we just live in this world with social media where, my gosh, let alone just the posts, but if you ever read the comments, it is like, whoa, it's just...

Melissa Halpin (43:54)
Brutal.

Andrea Corp (43:56)
massive acceptance of bullying constantly that would not be tolerated before by adults in our time, most adults, like for the most part, you know, so.

Melissa Halpin (43:59)
Yes.

Right.

Yeah, the nastiness

and the, yeah.

Andrea Corp (44:12)
It's a different world, but yeah, that's a little outside of the topic, but it's, yeah, it's just, it's a different world and like to be there for each other as women.

Melissa Halpin (44:21)
Right. And it speaks

to sort of the whole reinvention theme, like how are we going to reinvent ourselves, but also reinvent our culture, realign ourselves. Yeah.

Andrea Corp (44:31)
Yeah. And women

are so powerful and to bring us all together, like we can do it. We are the leaders. We can be the leaders. Yeah. Aw, thank you, as do you. The same. We're so soul sisters and aligned with our missions and so much of what you were saying, even about your growing up or like this creativity and

Melissa Halpin (44:35)
Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, you make me feel that way. Thank you. Thank you.

Andrea Corp (44:56)
the overwhelm and your nonlinear thinking, all of it. Like we, we have a lot in common. I'm so happy to have met you.

Melissa Halpin (45:00)
Yeah. Well, thank

you. Yeah, me too. Well, thank you for being such a fierce and compassionate voice for women. We're both in this transformative season of life, and your work reminds all of us that midlife is an end. It's a blooming. And be sure to check out Blumified Life. We will include your website, all of your Shulsa links.

Andrea Corp (45:10)
Thank you.

Melissa Halpin (45:24)
you know, event calendar where people can find you. Is there anything else coming up you want to remind people to look for?

Andrea Corp (45:30)
Let's see, I have a piece of community that is offered for free twice a month at two, like it's called the Magic Market or the Sippin' Shop, where it's like a piece, little piece of community, a little piece of creativity, a little piece of magic. So come and just for free, come in, have tea, coffee. You can check the website for that, the events.

And then I am facilitating an alter ego excavation workshop, which is a really popular one about diving deep into who you are and getting in touch with that wild instinctual self to lead you to clues about where you're going. So that's a good one too, but I've got lots more.

Melissa Halpin (46:12)
both of those brick and mortar experiences. So for those of you that don't know, Andrea's shop is in Royal Oak, Michigan, but there is also an online community and a membership that you can look for.

Andrea Corp (46:14)
Yes. Yes.

Yes, yes, and I'm in the middle of revising the membership a little bit to make it more accessible to people, for more people to join the sisterhood. Yeah, so look for that and just subscribe to my newsletter where I give the updates and events and things like that.

Melissa Halpin (46:38)
Alright, do that ladies, you won't regret it. Thanks Andrea.

Andrea Corp (46:42)
Thank you so much. This was great.