OG Firestarters Amy & Melissa Check-in: Amy's PhD, Being "Extra" and Looking ahead to 2025

In this episode, Amy and Melissa kick off Season 4 of the Kindling Project podcast. They discuss what they've been up to, including the growth of the Kindling Project community, their events, and Amy's pursuit of her PhD. They also talk about the importance of perseverance, setting boundaries, and embracing the extra in life and share plans for the upcoming season, which include conversations about grief, menopause, empty nesting, and more. The Kindling Project is evolving and listeners are invited to contribute to the conversation.

takeaways

• Perseverance and consistency are key to achieving goals
• Setting boundaries is important for maintaining mental health and balance
• Embracing the 'extra' in life can lead to personal growth and fulfillment
• Grief, menopause, and empty nesting are common experiences for women that deserve open and honest conversations
• The Kindling Project is evolving and will continue to explore a wide range of topics

Take Action Now!
Learn more about The Kindling Project at our website and join our Facebook group for women looking for that extra kindling to start their next big fire!

Contact us via email at podcast@thekindlingproject.com for further inquiries or discussions.

Transcript

Amy PD (00:00.758)
Yay. Hey, fire starters. Welcome back to the kindling project podcast. I'm here today kicking off season four with the OG fire starter Amy Parvano Drummond. Hey, hello. Hello. I'm so excited to be here.

Melissa (00:02.308)
Hey Firestarters, welcome back to the Kindling Project podcast. I'm here today kicking off season four with the OG Firestarter, Amy Parvano Drummond.

Melissa (00:16.912)
I'm so excited to have you. It's been a minute. I think today for this first show let's talk about what you've been up to some big inspiring things my friend. thank you. Thank you. know it's been a minute. It's been a minute all right. I know it it's it's a little different because we're both looking into a camera even though we're sitting next to each other so we're gonna definitely you know one of the things that I think really got us going with this is that

Amy PD (00:19.404)
Thanks.

Amy PD (00:25.848)
thank you. Thank you. I know it's been a minute. It's been a minute. All right. I know it's it's a little different because we're both looking into a camera even though we're sitting next to each other. So we're going to definitely you know one of the things that I think really got us going with this is that we just wing it and I feel like that's what we're doing and I feel like that's really what works. So I'm super excited to be here and talk about

Melissa (00:46.404)
We just wing it and I feel like that's what we're doing and I feel like that's really what works so I'm super excited to be here and talk about where we've been what we're doing and where we want to go Me too. Me too. So Amy took a breather, but the kidney project kept going and we're almost three years old now and We have I think about 70 plus

Amy PD (00:55.916)
where we've been, what we're doing, and where we wanna go.

Me too.

Melissa (01:14.532)
podcast that you can review the catalog and listen to. We have a private Facebook community of 2300 women, all of whom have signed up and told us about their different passion projects, life projects, goals, dreams, wishes, the best of everything. And we have now clocked, I believe,

Amy PD (01:15.35)
Amazing.

Amy PD (01:27.384)
their different passion projects, life projects, goals, dreams, wishes, the best of everything. And we have now clocked, I believe, one large event, a day long event that we called Kindle Her Fire, in addition to five smaller events. Amazing. And going into 2025, this fall, we're looking at what's next for the Kindling Project. And what's next for us?

Melissa (01:38.82)
one large event, a day long event that we called Kindle Her Fire, in addition to five smaller events. And going into 2025, this fall, we're looking at what's next for the Kindling Project. And what's next for us as individuals, as friends, as partners in this endeavor. And all while the big thing, Amy is pursuing her PhD. So tell us how that's going.

Amy PD (01:55.658)
as individuals, as friends, as partners in this endeavor. And all while, the big thing, Amy is pursuing her PhD. my gosh. So tell us how that's going. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. know. Can I just say how proud I am of you for really always being so steadfast and consistent and reliable and dependable when life was

Melissa (02:09.42)
Well, thank you. Thank you so much. I know. Can I just say how proud I am of you for really always being so steadfast and consistent and reliable and dependable when life was definitely throwing you lemons. You kept making lemonade and I'm really, really proud of you. That's one of the reasons I love you is you just persevered and not just in professional, but definitely in personal.

Amy PD (02:25.208)
Definitely throwing you lemons you kept making lemonade and I'm really really proud of you that's one of the reasons I love you is you just persevered and not just in professional, but definitely in personal and Thank you. Thank you for Putting the spotlight on me, but I think we definitely have to put it on you as well for You know going through getting to 72 podcasts and having such a successful

Melissa (02:39.268)
And thank you. Thank you for putting the spotlight on me, but I think we definitely have to put it on you as well for, you know, going through getting to 72 podcasts and having such a successful event and the other events. So just want to say thank you so much for always being so steadfast. I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that.

Amy PD (02:55.128)
Event and the other events so just want to say thank you so much for always being so steadfast It's true

Melissa (03:05.688)
I missed you while life was lifing on your end and I'm super relieved to have you back. There have been some growing pains, but that's life, right? Nothing worth doing is gonna come without its hardships and its struggles. And so the Kinley Project is something that's really worth doing, I think to both of us, like going back to our pandemic drives in the car.

Amy PD (03:18.308)
The Kinney project is something that's really worth doing. think to both of us, like going back to our pandemic drives in the car and our silly trying to start a podcast and microphone this morning when we were setting this up, my husband Matt was here helping us out and I was thinking about, gosh, remember when Amy and I tried to do this by ourselves?

Melissa (03:32.804)
and our silly trying to start a podcast and set up a microphone. This morning when we were setting this up, my husband Matt was here helping us out and I was thinking about, gosh, remember when Amy and I tried to do this by ourselves? I know, the two least technical people. I know. Thank God you're sleeping with our IT guy, because I think that helps us. I'm just going to keep doing it, girls. Please, you're definitely just taking that for the team and I appreciate it.

Amy PD (03:48.042)
I know, the two least technical people. And thank God you're sleeping with our IT guy, because I think that helps us. I'm just going to keep doing it though. Please, you're definitely just taking that for the team, and I appreciate it. my gosh, so funny. It's funny, because you're asking about my PhD, but I feel like the PhD is really just a reflection of.

Melissa (04:04.498)
my gosh

Amy PD (04:16.138)
It's somewhat of a symbol of what we have to do as women. We don't have to get PhDs, mean, trust me. But the PhD is somewhat of an example of what it takes to persevere, to have grit, to hustle, to follow through. You know, all the things that are really hard to do at times. know, Melissa and I reference a lot about being women because that's what we are.

Melissa (04:32.002)
to hustle, to follow through, you all the things that are really hard to do at times. know, Melissa and I reference a lot about being women because that's what we are. And that is what we know to be true is that we have to do these things that can be so difficult. And we find ourselves in these situations that are

Amy PD (04:46.07)
That is what we know to be true, is that we have to do these things that can be so difficult. And we find ourselves in these situations that are tough. I mean, they're very joyful, but they're also very tough. Now, the joyful part, I don't know what joy I have quite yet found in the PhD, but I'm

Melissa (05:01.668)
Tough, mean they they're very joyful, but they're also very tough now the joyful part I Don't know what joy I have quite yet found Yeah, but I'm definitely feeling a lot of clarity with it I just as a quick Cliff Notes version. I started the PhD and I would say late 2018 and it's so strange because I've

Amy PD (05:14.776)
Definitely feeling a lot of clarity with it. I just as a quick Cliff Notes version. I started the PhD in I would say late 2018 and it's so strange because I've I've been a clinical social worker for close to 30 years probably longer now and by the way, this is my face like I make like the fish face. That's like my my new face of like

Melissa (05:31.044)
I've been a clinical social worker for close to 30 years, probably longer now. And by the way, this is my face. Like I make like the fish face. That's like my new face of like when something is like hard, but I'm going to keep going. And I remember just walking the dogs and I just felt like this tap on the shoulder from God. it's like, Hey, go get your PhD. It's like, excuse me. Like I'd never thought of.

Amy PD (05:42.988)
when something is like hard, but I'm gonna keep going. And I remember just walking the dogs and I just felt like this tap on the shoulder from God and it's like, hey, go get your PhD. It's like, excuse me? Like I'd never thought of getting a PhD because in the social work field, you don't really need one. But I, of course, being an overachiever and apparently a perfectionist and someone who's very extra.

Melissa (05:57.176)
getting a PhD because in the social work field you don't really need one. But I, of course, being an overachiever and apparently a perfectionist and someone who's very extra, I went ahead and did it and I pursued it and I got my coursework done in about a year and a half. But unfortunately during that time was when my sister Christine got unfortunately diagnosed with some pretty significant.

Amy PD (06:10.056)
I went ahead and did it and I pursued it and I got my coursework done in about a year and a half. But unfortunately during that time was when my sister Christine got unfortunately diagnosed with some pretty significant renal cell carcinoma cancer, is kidney cancer. And I got through the coursework and I...

Melissa (06:25.112)
renal cell carcinoma cancer, is kidney cancer. And I got through the coursework and I, the coursework was manageable, but I was also traveling between here and where she was in Wyoming. And anybody that's been out to Wyoming knows that there's no easy way to get there. So it was just a whole thing. And long story short, I ended up taking

Amy PD (06:36.118)
You know, the coursework was manageable, but I was also traveling between here and where she was in Wyoming, and anybody that's been out to Wyoming knows that there's no easy way to get there. So it was just a whole thing. And long story short, I ended up taking, I couldn't get through the prospectus, which is like the proposal part. And it was really because, you know, sadly she had passed away and I just didn't have the bandwidth or the clarity.

Melissa (06:54.116)
I couldn't get through the prospectus, which is like the proposal part. And it was really because, sadly she had passed away and I just didn't have the bandwidth or the clarity. And so I took about a year off. And when I went back, the school said, by the way, no, no, sorry. It's such a long horrendous story, but I took a semester off is what it was.

Amy PD (07:05.516)
And so I took about a year off. And when I went back, the school said, by the way, you, no, no, sorry. It's such a long, horrendous story. But I took a semester off is what it was. And I came back and the school's like, by the way, you have six classes to take. We changed our catalog. And I was like, excuse me? Like, really? And yeah, it was, my gosh. I remember we were doing. I mean, just we were trying to do the killing part. Yes, yes.

Melissa (07:19.778)
and I came back and the school was like, by the way, you have six classes to take. We changed our catalog. And I was like, excuse me? Like, really? And I remember this. Yeah, was, my gosh. Yeah. I mean, just we were trying to do the Killing Project and we were both working full -time jobs, both raising teenagers. had the great, you were run over by grief of losing sweet Christine. And then this university tells you, sorry, you're not done with your coursework.

Amy PD (07:38.348)
Yep.

Amy PD (07:43.544)
Yeah. Yes. my gosh.

Melissa (07:50.324)
I remember the day we were in our co -working space, you were on the phone, I was crying for you, it just sucked. was like a building fell on me and that's when I gave it a shot maybe for one or two other quarters and then I just said, I can't. And so I took a year off and I got back in it. Thank God I have this incredible other woman in my life.

Amy PD (07:53.492)
Yes, I know it was like a like a building fell on me and I and that's when I I Gave it a shot maybe for one or two other quarters And then I just said I can't and so I took a year off and I got back in it Thank God. I have this incredible other woman in my life. Her name is Anne Marie I call her my PhD va and she just finished her second PhD. Okay, so we think we're extra

Melissa (08:14.722)
name is Anne Marie. call her my PhD -va and she just finished her second PhD. Okay, so we think we're extra. This woman's like another level. Plus she's a vet. She's just such a badass and I just adore her. We should have her on the podcast. We have to. Okay. We have to because she's like another level of awesomeness and she's like, you know what? You gotta get back in it. We call each other sister and she's like, sister, you gotta get back in it. And I was just like, okay.

Amy PD (08:21.612)
this woman's like another level. Plus she's a vet. She's just such a badass and I just adore her. And she's, we have to, we have to because she's like another level of awesomeness. And she's like, you know what? You gotta get back in it. We call each other sister and she's like, sister, you gotta get back in it. And I was just like, okay, so here I am now starting the proposal and I'm really excited because

Melissa (08:44.002)
So here I am now starting the proposal and I'm really excited because it's really relevant research and we can talk definitely more about it in another series, another podcast. But yes, so that's just one piece of what I've been doing and it's gonna be a grind but I'm really excited. We are gonna have like.

Amy PD (08:51.104)
You know, it's really relevant research and we can talk definitely more about it in another series, another podcast. But yes, so that's just one piece of what I've been doing and it's gonna be a grind, but I'm really excited and we are gonna have like the biggest party when it's over.

Melissa (09:09.496)
The biggest party. When it's over. We are having the biggest party when you get your PhD. And I just wanted to let everyone know what you had been up to, what you had been facing. It's such a, unfortunately, common part of life for women, Gen X women our age, to be losing friends and family members. We're just getting at that age where, unfortunately, we start having losses in our families. And it's not always...

Amy PD (09:14.402)
I know.

Amy PD (09:33.922)
started having losses in our families.

Melissa (09:38.71)
It's not always discussed how much that can set you back. And how much that can disrupt all the things. And like you said, you and I tend to be quite extra. Like our list of things is so long, both of ours. I think that's why we get along so well, is we, you know, we always come screaming in from this thing and that thing and into the next thing. But sometimes you just have to pause. Yeah, yeah. I feel like we're getting better at that, don't you? Like, I feel like we're really...

Amy PD (09:38.744)
It's not always discussed how much that can set you back. And how much that can disrupt all the things. big time. You and I tend to be quite extra. Like our list of things is.

Amy PD (09:57.779)
Yeah, yeah, I feel like we're getting better at that don't you like I feel like we're really After 50 it's like okay Like let's just tap the brakes here sister We don't we don't have to do all of that and it's it's so unique because it's an internal drive. It's not it's not

Melissa (10:08.1)
After 50, it's like, okay, let's just tap the brakes here, sister. We don't have to do all of that. And it's so unique because it's an internal drive. It's not anybody telling us to do it. It's an internal drive of more, more, more, go, go, go. man, it's not something I really knew about myself. I think until...

Amy PD (10:22.548)
anybody telling us to do it. It's an internal drive of more, more, more, go, go, go. And man, it's not something I really knew about myself, I think until this PhD experience, because I always knew I was extra, but I didn't realize to the extent. I feel like it all came somewhat to a crescendo.

Melissa (10:37.666)
this PhD experience because I always knew I was extra, but I didn't realize to the extent. I feel like it all came somewhat to a crescendo. Maybe in late 40s and then like tipping over in 50s, early 50s and it's like, girl, we don't have to do this like this anymore. We can completely, you know, abort mission and say,

Amy PD (10:51.882)
maybe in late 40s and then like tipping over in 50s, early 50s and it's like, girl, we don't have to do this like this anymore. We can completely, you know, abort mission and say, I don't have to do this anymore, you know? What do you think?

Melissa (11:06.434)
I don't have to do this anymore, you know? What do you think? I'm with you. think that when you say it's internal, I have been personally through a process of sorting out the messages. Which ones are internal and which ones are external and letting some of that external pressure and people pleasing go. I feel like that's more my thing than your thing, but really just trying to understand when I can say.

Amy PD (11:14.572)
you say.

Amy PD (11:23.052)
Mm Yeah.

Amy PD (11:29.285)
I feel like that's more my thing than your thing. But I'm really just trying to understand when I can say no, and I can set boundaries.

Melissa (11:36.426)
no and when I can set boundaries and not overriding my own nervous system. If somebody doesn't make me feel good, if they're not fun to be around, if they're unpredictable or unreliable or unkind, you know, I mean, the list of reasons to say no is long, but I always found a way to say yes anyway. And I'm just getting better at saying, nope. Right.

Amy PD (11:48.44)
They're unpredictable.

Amy PD (11:53.193)
you know, I mean the list of reasons to say no is long but I always found a way to say yes anyway. And I'm just getting better at saying nope. Right and listening to...

Melissa (12:04.26)
listening go with God to like you know you know bless and release goodbye yeah it's so lol I love to say lol but I was talking to this like superstar young young woman yesterday she goes to pure bar she's an instructor she's a professional dancer she's 22 she just graduated from college and she was we're talking about

Amy PD (12:10.168)
Yes, yes, I love I know go go with God and just goodbye It's so lol. I love to say lol, but I was talking to this like superstar young young woman yesterday She goes to pure bar. She's an instructor. She's a professional dancer. She's 22 She just graduated from college and she was we were talking about my little knitting and crochet group and she's like now if I don't respond I'm not and I go, know what stop right there

Melissa (12:35.041)
And she's like now if I don't respond I'm not and I go you know what stop right there You do not have to explain yourself as to why you can't do something right you know and I think we spent years of doing that women are taught to Explain ourselves as to why we are saying no right and at the end of the day Right right nobody cares it's like

Amy PD (12:40.042)
you do not have to explain yourself as to why you can't do something. And I think we spent years of doing that. Women are taught to explain ourselves as to why we are saying no. And at the end of the day, nobody cares. I nobody cares. It's like I've had to get out of group chats and emails where

Melissa (13:02.488)
I've had to get out of group chats and emails where the women are like, I can't because I have to get my kids or I have to go to the this or that. Nobody cares. We have to just stop explaining ourselves. I think you've gotten better at that. Yeah, for sure. Because you know a man's not going to be like, I can't come to the golf course later because I got to get the kids. And then I have to go to the grocery store. And then I have to pick up the.

Amy PD (13:06.068)
the women are like, I can't because I have to get my kids or I have to go to the this or the nobody cares. Stop. We have to just stop explaining ourselves, you know, and I think you've gotten better at that. because you know, a man's not going to be like, I can't come to, you know, the golf course later because I got to get the kids and then I have to go to the grocery store and then I have to pick up the.

Melissa (13:31.574)
Yeah, right. I'm having a bad hair day. Right. I'm having a hot flash. Right. can you imagine? No, no, no, no, no. Just I'm out. Right. And I admire that about, you know, my husband or the or the or my boys. They're not going to be like, I can't because of X, Y and Z. Let's just stop explaining ourselves. Like, you know, so I would say you've gotten a lot better at that because, know.

Amy PD (13:34.121)
Right, right, just no. Right, can you imagine?

Yeah, and I admire that about, you know, my husband or or the or my boys. They're not going to be like, I can't because of X, Y and Z. Let's just stop explaining ourselves. Like, you know, so I think I would say you've gotten a lot better at that because, you know, what you were doing before just doesn't work anymore.

Melissa (14:00.886)
what you were doing before just doesn't work anymore. No, it doesn't. I don't have the time. I have too many things to get to. And I think that's really where we're both at right now is we still have a lot to get to. And so many women we know have a lot to get to. It's critical. It's critical for our mental health. It's critical for our families to model for our daughters to fix this country. I mean,

Amy PD (14:09.43)
Yeah.

Amy PD (14:18.934)
Yes.

Amy PD (14:26.296)
fix this country. mean, yeah, really, really super critical to get to the important stuff quicker and more efficiently with less excuses. And so I feel like 2025 is going to be, mean, I know I don't want to wish this year away. We still have a quarter of it left, but it's just going to be the year of getting shit done. Yes, yes. And, and the good news is, is so we're starting quarter four, right? Is that September? Okay.

Melissa (14:28.804)
It's really, really super critical to get to the important stuff quicker and more efficiently with less excuses. And so I feel like 2025 is going to be, I mean, I know I don't want to wish this year away. We still have a quarter of it left, but it's just going to be the year of getting shit done. Yes. And the good news is, is so we're starting quarter four, September. Okay. Yep.

Amy PD (14:55.832)
So quarter four, here we are, September 2nd, 2024. And we are here. We are here together. And we've been so excited about this. And I think one of the things that we're going to want to know from all of our listeners is, what do you want to hear about? I feel like I'm a lot more comfortable, Melissa. I feel like I'm a lot more comfortable talking about uncomfortable things.

Melissa (14:55.908)
So quarter four, here we are, September 2nd, 2024. we are here. We are here together. And we've been so excited about this. And I think one of the things that we're gonna wanna know from all of our listeners is what do you wanna hear about? I feel like...

I'm a lot more comfortable, Melissa. feel like I'm a lot more comfortable talking about uncomfortable things. Me too. Me too. And having a broader conversation. think this started out as a conversation between you and I on our back patios and in our drives or after yoga class. It leapt to a podcast. But I want to invite other contributors. And we have had a ton of contributors. We've had guests. We've had we've had another host come and go.

Amy PD (15:27.205)
I think this is a conversation between you and.

Amy PD (15:37.034)
It left.

Amy PD (15:41.536)
And we have had a ton of contributors. We've had guests. We've had another host.

Melissa (15:48.834)
But I want to expand the voices and not just the voices that look like you and I or sound like you and I or are the same age as you and I, but expand the voices at the Kidney Project. Because that's really the community we're growing and we're building. When I look into our private Facebook community and sometimes I click over to people's walls and...

Amy PD (15:53.464)
voices that look

Amy PD (15:58.498)
same age as you and I, but expand the voices.

project because that's really the community we're growing and we're building into our private Facebook community and you know sometimes I click over to people's walls and you know where she at how old is she you know we have 35 year old moms of two and we have 72 year old retired like badass executives who are starting their painting career and everything in between that and so let's let's those conversations

Melissa (16:14.5)
Where is she at? How old is she? We have 35 -year -old moms of two, and we have 72 -year -old retired badass executives who are starting their painting career, and everything in between that. And so, let's have those conversations. Yeah, I agree. I think you were mentioning roundtable. Because the good news is that we don't have to have all the answers. No. That's part of it. That's part of the...

Amy PD (16:30.4)
Yeah, I agree. I think you were mentioning roundtable because the good news is, is that we don't have to have all the answers. That's part of it. That's part of the, you know, I tell people this all the time, especially when I'm hiring that my goal and I don't want to speak for you, but I think it's very aligned with this statement is to surround myself with other women who are smarter than me. In other words, they have skills that I

Melissa (16:44.36)
I tell people this all the time, especially when I'm hiring, that my goal, and I don't want to speak for you, but I think it's very aligned with this statement, is to surround myself with other women who are smarter than me. In other words, they have skills that I do not, nor will I get, which is great. And then we just all lift ourselves up, which is really exciting. it doesn't, we don't, again.

Amy PD (17:00.076)
do not, nor will I get, which is great. And then we just all lift ourselves up, which is really exciting. it doesn't, we don't, again, don't have to have all the answers, but surround ourselves with other women where we make ourselves all look good as a collective. So.

Melissa (17:11.384)
don't have to have all the answers, but surround ourselves with other women where we make ourselves all look good as a collective. Yeah. And that, and we accept that it's not about, it's not so much about looking good. It's about creating the spaces, right? Yes. You can show up and look bad too. You can cry an ugly cry. You can tell us about your worst moment. I mean, we're here for it. We're here for.

Amy PD (17:27.446)
Yes.

Yeah, I love that because you and I show up really the way we are I mean today is Labor Day and I mean of course you like you glue yourself together really well I'd say

Melissa (17:37.038)
that sort of plurality of life. If it's good, if it's bad, if it's pretty, if it's ugly. I don't want this to feel too polished and I don't want it to feel like spokesmodely, right? I want it to feel like genuine conversations. Yeah, I love that because you and I show up really the way we are. I today is Labor Day. I mean, of course, you you glue yourself together. Thanks.

Amy PD (18:05.272)
I'm wearing my hat because I have to get my roots done. Thank God. It's tomorrow I Know I know I should be doing that on like a Friday, but let's be real like am I really gonna go out that Friday night I don't know That's true and it's been fun

Melissa (18:06.02)
I'm wearing my hat because I have to get my roots done. Thank God it's tomorrow. Hair day is the best day. I know. Yeah. I know. I should be doing that on like a Friday. But let's be real. Right. we really going to go out that Friday night? I don't know. I mean, I've been dragging you out a little bit this summer. That's true. I mean, I feel like a few times out with Amy in one season is a lot because she's in bed by 730. I know. I know. We got to talk about that because I've learned.

Amy PD (18:29.556)
I know, I know. We gotta talk about that, because I've learned a little bit more about that. But yeah, it just, I don't even know what I was gonna say. I don't know, but I hear you. See, okay, that's another topic. my gosh, the menopause brain, the perimenopause brain. my god, that's why I'm wearing the tank. mean, between the hormones and the this, and that's something that I'm.

Melissa (18:36.004)
But yeah, it just I don't even know what I was gonna say. I don't know but I hear you. Yeah, see, okay. That's another topic. my gosh. What's that? The menopause brain. Yes, that's why I'm wearing the tank. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm really excited about because in my professional life working on

Amy PD (18:58.924)
really excited about because in my professional life, working on building, which I need your help with tremendously on all things marketing and appearances with the way we advertise and things like that, is this idea of an integrative health division where it's not just mental health, but it's also medication management.

Melissa (19:05.308)
Building which I need your help with tremendously on all things marketing and appearances with the way we we we advertise and things like that is This idea of an integrative health division where it's not just mental health, but it's also You know medication management all the things that you know the regulation that I believe we as women need because

Amy PD (19:27.946)
all the things that, you know, the regulation that I believe we as women need, because like I could be in a conversation and completely just drop what I was saying. Okay, please. There's a lot.

Melissa (19:33.572)
Like I could be in a conversation and completely just drop what I was saying. Okay, well first let's back up here. Okay. Because we gave you guys a little explanation of, know, Amy stepped out for, you know, whatever it was, eight, 10 months. Amy stepped out and she lost her sister.

Amy PD (19:54.922)
Amy stepped out and she...

Melissa (19:58.348)
and she took a pause on her PhD, and she's back to her PhD, but what she didn't mention is her life didn't stop. She also took a new position at a community mental health office. I don't know, a mental health service organization here in Northville, and she's really stepping it up. So those dreams that she's having for building an integrated health arm is like...

Amy PD (20:01.492)
But what she didn't mention is her life didn't stop. She also took a new position at a community mental health office, I don't know, community health, mental health service organization here in Northville. And she's really stepping it up. So those dreams that she's having for building an integrated health arm is like, it to the pile of extra, right? She took a break, but she really took a break from.

Melissa (20:25.238)
add it to the pile of extra, right? She said she took a break, but she really took a break from podcasting with TKP and writing a PhD. She didn't stop raising her teenage boys and her adopted niece. And she took a new job in the last year, which is super exciting. And I am super proud of her for that work. Yeah, so, and I need that work.

Amy PD (20:30.708)
And a niece. Thank you.

Melissa (20:50.244)
I need that service, because I also am sort of perimenopause. I'm not sure, I'm 52. The blood work doesn't seem to align with the symptoms. I don't know if you ladies are having this, but it feels like, why is this thing that happens to every single female lucky enough to live this long such a mystery? Why do we have to go searching for the answers? Even the doctors.

Amy PD (20:58.988)
doesn't seem to align with the symptoms. don't know if you ladies are having this, but it feels like why is this thing that happens to every single female lucky enough to live this long such a mystery? I know. to go searching for the answers. Even the doctors. So right. Well, you know, I don't know. You could be perimenopause. You could be menopause. Yes. But none of it doesn't line up.

Melissa (21:16.836)
Well, you I don't know. You could be perimenopause, you could be menopause, your blood work doesn't line up. And it's like, my blood work, have you seen me at 2 a when I'm sweating my ass off and I can't sleep and then I'm shivering like I'm in the Arctic? Like this is happening. You're so right. It's like we have to, we have to talk about this. Like we'll have to shelf this. Yeah. But my gosh, like, yeah.

Amy PD (21:23.224)
and it's like my blood work, have you seen me at 2 a when I'm sweating my ass off and I can't And I'm shivering like I'm in the arts. It's happening. Right, you're so right. We have to talk about this. We'll have to shelf this. But my gosh, yeah, it's a whole thing because it's like talking to the doctor.

Melissa (21:45.9)
Yeah. It's a whole thing. it's like talking to the doctor who is, by the way, our age. And she's like, she doesn't know either. We're all looking at ourselves like, why are we in this dark mystery? I've got one word for you. It's called research. You know, research dollars don't go to women's health the way they do to general health and men's health and childhood health. I'm going to write that down.

Amy PD (21:51.564)
who is by the way our age and she's like, I don't know. She doesn't.

Amy PD (22:01.973)
Yeah, well I've got one word for you. It's called research and you know focus.

Amy PD (22:11.018)
True, yep, yeah. I'm gonna write that down by the way. Menopause, because you know I'll forget it if I don't. Menopause, conversate, or perimenopause, whatever, or just hormones. Yeah, I've got a great person we could talk to about it too.

Melissa (22:16.354)
Menopause, because you know I'll forget it if I don't. Menopause, perimenopause, whatever, or just hormones. Yeah, just hormones. I've got a great person we can talk to about it too. Yeah, and we have had a few guests. There's been a few topics if you search our catalog. There have been some conversations, but not enough. And we can come at it from all the different perspectives. How does it affect how you look and your memory?

Amy PD (22:40.972)
the different perspectives. How does it affect how you look and your memory and your sex drive and your doctor's appointments? What sex drive? sorry. my gosh I have a whole other conversation about that too.

Melissa (22:44.716)
and your sex drive and your doctor's appointments and on and on on. sorry. yeah, that. You know, that. my gosh, I have a whole other conversation about that too. So these are the things. These are the things that we're going to be talking about this season, whether it's growing pains, whether it's grief, whether it's menopause, whether it's starting a new job or launching a new division within your job.

Amy PD (23:00.816)
These are the things that we're going to be talking about this season, whether it's growing pains, whether it's grief, whether it's menopause, whether it's starting a new job or launching a new division within your job. Finding ways to do work that's important and sane. Setting boundaries around.

Melissa (23:14.884)
finding ways to do work that's important and sane. Setting boundaries around work and life and I sort of have just really thrown out the idea of balance but I haven't figured out what word to insert into this sentence of managing, managing, figuring out what bucket to fill at what time and when to walk away and fill another, this sort of conversation.

Amy PD (23:23.448)
sort of have just really thrown out the idea of balance, but I haven't figured out what word to insert into this sentence of managing, figuring out what bucket to fill at what time and when to walk away and fill another, this sort of conversation. These are the conversations we expect to be having. And let's not forget it's also political season, it's a presidential year, it's September.

Melissa (23:42.126)
These are the conversations we expect to be having. And let's not forget, it's also political season, it's a presidential year, it's September. We've got a few months of activism coming up. I know we have women in our community who are running for office, who are dropping lit, who are campaigning for somebody. I'm working on several political campaigns myself through my agency and just as a volunteer.

Amy PD (23:51.49)
We've got a few months of activism coming up. know we have women in our community who are running for office, who are dropping lit, who are campaigning for somebody. I'm working on several political campaigns myself through my agency and just as a volunteer. I love that.

Melissa (24:11.318)
So, wide range of topics coming up that I'm super excited conversations to have with you my friend and some of the awesome women in this community. That sounds so great. Empty nesting? empty nesting. Empty nesting, how to manage. Yes, and flying the nest and coming home and flying the nest and then flying again to another country. I mean there's a whole range of things that are happening with the young adults that we know we have in our life.

Amy PD (24:15.094)
Yeah. That sounds so great. In empty nesting, empty nesting, how to manage all that stuff.

Amy PD (24:32.374)
and then flying again to another country. I mean, there's a whole range of things that are happening with the young adults that we know we have in our life. I know, circling the nest. I feel like there's some of that circling the nest. But man, we've got to really have some round tables on that, because that's a really big deal. And even though, like, our younger listeners, it might not be so relatable, because there's so much in the eye of the storm.

Melissa (24:41.208)
I know, circling the nest. I feel like there's some of that circling the nest. Yes, yes. We've got to really have some round tables on that because that's a really big deal. And even though like our younger listeners, it might not be so relatable because there's so much in the eye of the storm. It's not something that people really prepare you for. I mean, just like parenthood. And just like menopause, just like parenthood. Nobody taught. Well.

Amy PD (24:59.444)
It's not something that people really prepare you for. mean, just like parenthood, but I feel like. it's not prepared.

Melissa (25:09.656)
But remember how unprepared you were when you brought him home from the hospital? I feel like you are, we're all just figuring this out on the fly. That's true. I didn't know how to raise them and I don't know how to send them off either. How to let them go. I guess you never really do, right? Yeah. I don't, yeah. Depends on the day. Ask me. It depends on the day you ask me, right? Right, right. So, okay. So do we want to maybe wrap that up?

Amy PD (25:13.58)
Yeah.

That's true.

Amy PD (25:21.752)
Gotta let him go.

Amy PD (25:27.328)
Yeah, I don't, yeah. Well. It depends on the day. Yes. It depends on the day you ask me, right? Right, right. So, okay, so do we want to maybe wrap that up, wrap up all of this and.

Melissa (25:39.204)
wrap up all of this. Yeah, I feel like this is a fun little, hey, we're back. We're thinking about what the conversations look like this fall. We're thinking about the goals for 2025 and next year. And we're so grateful to have you all as listeners, as friends, as community members, and reach out to us. Reach out to us in our Facebook group. Reach out to us through our website. A lot of you know us and have our email.

Amy PD (25:44.524)
Yes.

Amy PD (25:55.484)
as friends, as community members, reach out to us. Reach out to us in our Facebook group, reach out to us through our website. A lot of you know us and have our email, and share it with your friends. Tell them about this community that we're building. Right, and I'm excited to see how TKP evolves because, you know, I definitely think we need to talk about, you know, these passion projects and things like this, but, you know, we've also talked about

Melissa (26:08.216)
and share it with your friends. Tell them about this community that we're building. Right, and I'm excited to see how TKP evolves because you know I definitely think we need to talk about you know these passion projects and things like this but you know we've also talked about the involvement of TKP and I think it's evolving as we evolve obviously. Right. So I'm excited to see how how that looks as well you know because I think that's going to be pretty fluid.

Amy PD (26:24.67)
the evolvement of TKP and I think it's evolving as we evolve, obviously. So I'm excited to see how that looks as well, you know, because I think that's going to be pretty fluid as we keep plugging along. So I'm excited. Thank you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for listening,

Melissa (26:36.214)
as we keep plugging along. Absolutely. Stay tuned. Thank you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for listening, girls.