OG Firestarters Amy & Melissa Check-in: TKP's Values, Feminism, Mentoring & Connection

In this conversation, Amy and Melissa discuss the importance of creating a space for women to connect and support each other. They talk about the roots of their project, TKP, and the role of mentorship and giving back. They reflect on their own experiences and the value of surrounding themselves with other women who understand and validate their journeys. They also discuss the challenges of being brave and authentic and the need for deeper conversations about important themes in women's lives. The conversation emphasizes the idea of belonging and the desire to create a community where women can feel supported and connected.

Takeaways

• Creating a space for women to connect and support each other is important
• Mentorship and giving back are valuable ways to support other women
• Being brave and authentic can be challenging, but it is necessary for personal growth
• Belonging and feeling supported are essential for women's well-being

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Contact us via email at podcast@thekindlingproject.com for further inquiries or discussions.

Transcript

Amy PD (00:01.463)
Alright, hello everybody. I've got my girl over here Melissa and We are going to have a pretty interesting discussion today. I'm hoping How are you Melissa?

Melissa (00:02.204)
Hello everybody. I've got my girl over here, Melissa, and we are going to have a pretty interesting discussion today, I'm hoping. How are you, Melissa? I'm good. I'm good. I'm excited to be with you. I'm excited to share some of these thoughts that we've sketched out for today. I know. So one of the things that I think has kept Melissa and I together is that we roll with things along the same...

Amy PD (00:21.926)
I know. So one of the things that I think has kept Melissa and I together is that we roll with things along the same, I would say in academic, we align. We align with things. we're going to talk today about how we really felt that gap, again, going in academic.

Melissa (00:32.27)
I would say in academic, we align. We align with things. we're going to talk today about how we really felt that gap, again, going in academic, but why we wanted to create a space for us, for women, to connect on this more, is it like?

Amy PD (00:49.905)
but why we wanted to create a space for us, for women to connect on this more, is it like ethereal? What's that word? Ethereal? Ethereal level. And so we're gonna talk about some of the roots of TKP.

Melissa (01:02.208)
ethereal, what's that word, ethereal? Ethereal. Ethereal level. And so we're going to talk about some of the roots of TKP and then go into mentorship and giving back and why we feel that's so important. How does that sound? That works for me. That works for me. It's just been a natural activity for both of us to provide mentoring and to receive mentoring.

Amy PD (01:14.063)
and then go into mentorship and giving back and why we feel that's so important. How does that sound?

Melissa (01:31.156)
And those relationships and those bonds of women gathering information from each other, and also you and I building stages and platforms and spaces for that to happen really is the goal of this activity. Yes, the antithesis. Yep. The antithesis as to why we wanted to have TKP.

Amy PD (01:40.177)
building stages.

basis for that to happen really is the

Amy PD (01:51.864)
Yes, the antithesis. The antithesis as to why we wanted to have TKP. So let me just take you all back to little Amy in I would say probably 1978, 1979. And I don't know for everybody if they remember, but back in the day when people actually went to the mall before you could go and shop online.

Melissa (01:59.236)
So let me just take you all back to little Amy in I would say probably 1978, 1979. And I don't know for everybody if they remember, but back in the day when people actually went to the mall before you could go and shop online, the mall had the.

Amy PD (02:19.215)
the mall had the best store. And it was a store where you could go and get t -shirts made. Remember like the printers, like they had the big printers and you could get like the t -shirts made. And my absolute favorite shirt said, anything boys can do, girls can do better. So I know I did. I know I was a feminist from the get go. And we can talk about that word feminist, but I don't want to really dissect it here.

Melissa (02:20.472)
best store and it was a store where you could go and get t -shirts made remember like the printers like they had the big printers i do remember that it's made and my absolute favorite shirt said anything boys can do girls can do better so right i know started young for you i did i know i was a feminist from the get -go and we can talk about that word feminist but i don't want to really dissect it here

But I know for me, I always felt a sense of pride as to being a girl and then being a woman and now being a woman who has been there and done that. And I think that that's relatable to a lot of us. so what I was thinking about talking about today is back when Melissa and I started TKP, we were in the throes of a global pandemic.

Amy PD (02:48.763)
But I know for me, I always felt a sense of pride as to being a girl and then being a woman and now being a woman who has been there and done that. And I think that that's relatable to a lot of us. And so what I was thinking about talking about today is, back when Melissa and I started TKP, we were in the throes of a global pandemic.

Melissa (03:17.988)
And we all felt such a sense of loneliness. fear, isolation. And I don't really, I know it's 2024 and I know we've been out of it for a while. Although I just had my COVID booster yesterday. So I don't know how out of it we really truly are. But psychologically, I don't think we have.

Amy PD (03:18.121)
And we all felt such a sense of loneliness. my goodness.

Melissa (03:44.112)
as a society and as families and as individuals have fully recovered. Well you're right and it's also I don't even think it's about recovering. I think it's about new normals. And we're integrating, processing. yes. And also still seeing like what is the fallout because we are you know COVID is now it's people get it and it's not going away and thank God we have

Amy PD (03:47.991)
Mm -hmm. Well, you're right. And it's also, I don't even think it's about recovering. I think it's about new normals. we're still... Integrating, Yes, yes. And also still seeing like, is the fallout? Because we are, know, COVID is now, it's people get it and it's not going away. And thank God we have, you know, science to...

Melissa (04:13.068)
you know, science to give us these new vaccines when we have these new strains. And really it's about, so what is our new normal? But what we, think what really intersected for us was that loneliness, that lack of connection. And now where we are in our lives professionally and personally, really that desire and that craving to be with other women.

Amy PD (04:14.351)
to give us these new vaccines when we have these new strains. really, it's about, okay, so what is our new normal? But what we, think what really intersected for us was that loneliness, that lack of connection, and now where we are in our lives professionally and personally, really that desire and that craving to be with other women.

Melissa (04:42.128)
as it relates to really feeling the embodiment of understanding each other and getting it and that connection. What do you think about that? Yeah, I think you're describing that. I think when you talked about that pride of the t -shirt in the 70s that you had as a little girl and that sort of that yearning to be with other women, it starts young for a lot of us.

Amy PD (04:42.179)
as it relates to really feeling the embodiment of understanding each other and getting it and that connection. What do you think about that?

Melissa (05:10.84)
But because we did, you and I grew up in the 80s, and there was this push to be like the boys, or be better than the boys. And I know gender is a construct, and there's a whole other conversation here about... There's social and political conversations that we can have about feminism and being a girl and being a boy. But for the sake of this conversation, that yearning that we had as little girls...

Amy PD (05:15.611)
There was this push to be like the

And I know gender is a construct and there's a whole other conversation here about.

There's social and political conversations that we can have about feminism and being a girl and being a boy. But for the sake of this conversation, that yearning that we had as little girls, it's a natural drive to honor female wisdom. And the Kindling Project is a space for female wisdom and female sharing. Yes, I love that. And when I look back...

Melissa (05:39.404)
It's a natural drive to honor female wisdom. And the Kindling Project is a space for female wisdom and female sharing and mentoring. And when I look back on what we've done well and what has resonated with our community, there's all these relationships happening. Relationships that you and I have built, our friendship, gosh, now I don't know what's going on two decades, right?

Amy PD (05:55.345)
designated with our community. There's all these relationships happening. Relationships that you and I have built, our friendship, gosh, now I don't know what's going on. Two decades, right? it's, yeah. But we've also got a couple of decades now in with two young ladies who were on the podcast in the first season. Love those girls. to be involved with us. Maria Elena and Catherine.

Melissa (06:09.048)
But we've also got a couple decades now in with two young ladies who were on the podcast in the first season and they continue to be involved with us. Maria Lena and Catherine, you can look up that podcast episode with Amy, but they both continue to work with the Kindling Project. And so in their role, both in the Kindling Project and Lena has now been hired at my design agency, Memra.

Amy PD (06:25.013)
episode with Amy, but they both continue to work with the Kindling Project. And so in their role, both in the Kindling Project, and Lena has now been hired at my design agency, Memra, we're in the role of mentor. And Amy and I are talking about these roles and the importance of these roles, both as mentors and as mentorees. And what this community can do to...

Melissa (06:37.172)
were in the role of mentor. And Amy and I are talking about these roles and the importance of these roles, both as mentors and as mentors, right? And what this community can do to facilitate that sort of matchmaking. Yes, yes. And what I love about the girls, I call them the sisters. They are sisters. They are real sisters. And man, they're smart. They're so smart.

Amy PD (06:55.434)
Yes, yes and what I love about the girls I call them the sisters They are they are real sisters and man. They're smart. They are so smart and you know we haven't because they don't we don't live in the same area, but And you know when I stepped away from TKP I didn't I didn't have that connection with them But I know you know you have really taken them under your wing and I can only imagine how much there's that

Melissa (07:06.558)
And we haven't, because we don't live in the same area, when I stepped away from TKP, I didn't have that connection with them, but I know you have really taken them under your wing. And I can only imagine how much there's that mutual admiration for one another. I love them. They're like daughters now. And I've actually even texted and private messaged a little bit with their mom. She's in our community. So.

Amy PD (07:23.171)
mutual admiration for one another.

Amy PD (07:31.801)
I love that. Isn't there grandma as well?

Melissa (07:36.66)
Maybe, maybe. And they have a sister too that we haven't met yet, Tina. But I know for Maria Elena, she graduated last spring with her degree in graphic design. She's in Florida. And she was an intern for the Kindling Project as well as Memra for a year. And now she's an employee of Memra and she's working on some big cool projects with me. so.

Amy PD (07:44.657)
She graduated last spring with her degree in

And she was an intern for the Kindling Project as well as Memra for a year. And now she's an employee of Memra and she's working on some big cool projects with me. I love that. So those relationships, like that relationship is especially valuable to me. And I want to highlight those connections. I want to highlight those connections that you and I have and to do some matchmaking along the way.

Melissa (08:04.59)
Those relationships, like that relationship, is especially valuable to me and I want to highlight those connections. I want to highlight those connections that you and I have and to do some matchmaking along the way for other women. Yeah, I think that's great. And one thing that I've learned too, I can't speak for you, but that's not something that we ever grow out of is needing wealth, at least for me, because...

Amy PD (08:19.993)
Yeah, I think that's great. one thing that I've learned too, and I can't speak for you, but that's not something that we ever grow out of is needing wealth, at least for me, because, you again, I'm not trying to speak for both of us, but I think we are students for life. so learning from other women and just feeling supported and also feeling heard, you know,

Melissa (08:33.92)
And you again, I'm not trying to speak for both of us, but I think we are students for life. so learning from other women and just feeling supported and also feeling heard. Yeah. There's so much value in that. having having those women around us just is as I know, like as the kids say, is creating that space for us that just says

Amy PD (08:48.805)
There's so much value in that and having those women around us just is, as I know, like as the kids say, is creating that space for us that just says, get you. I get you. You don't have to explain. I understand. And to me, that's about validation. And that's really what a lot of us

Melissa (09:03.784)
Get you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't have to explain I understand To me that's about validation and that's really what a lot of us I would say crave because part of the many hats that we wear is about validating everybody else making sure everybody else is fed making sure everybody else is clean and You know set and ready to go

Amy PD (09:17.485)
I would say crave because part of the many hats that we wear is about validating everybody else, making sure everybody else is fed, making sure everybody else is clean and set and ready to go.

Melissa (09:31.55)
And also being willing to let others do for us. You know, I gave you guys the update on Lena, but Catherine, her older sister, who's been our podcast manager and editor over the years, she took a full time job at the United Nations. I mean, it's so amazing. We're so proud of her. And she's also going to come back this season and do some podcast recording and editing work with us. And

Amy PD (09:34.459)
Good point.

Okay, we got.

Amy PD (09:48.881)
Amazing. I love that.

Amy PD (09:57.617)
Thank you. Thank you so much.

Melissa (10:02.165)
for us to be able to learn from this young person. I mean, it's sort of like reverse mentoring, right? Like she's got the knowledge, right? She's got a more updated knowledge base than we do. And definitely when it comes to technology, right? Yes. And you're so right. And I'll be honest, I just want to let her do it. I mean, she's shown us how to like get into Riverside and things like that.

Amy PD (10:02.841)
be able to learn from this young person. It's sort of like reverse mentoring, right? Big time. She's got the knowledge, right? She's got a more updated knowledge base than we do, definitely, when it comes to technology, right? Yes. And you're so right. And I'll be honest. I just want to let her do it. mean, she's shown us how to get into Riverside and things like that. But it's like,

Melissa (10:30.998)
It's like, do your thing. Right. Do it and thank you. So make us look good. know, that's what I was talking about. You know, is that.

Amy PD (10:31.867)
Do your thing and do it and thank you. So make us look good. That's what I was talking about, is that the skill set that she has and her sister has, thank you. Because we just don't have those skills and that's OK. Especially with technology. mean, not to sound like a dinosaur, but.

Melissa (10:42.596)
the skill set that she has and her sister has, like, thank you, because we just don't have those skills, and that's okay. Right? Especially with technology. mean, not to sound like a dinosaur. Yeah, I mean, the irony is I've spent at least the last 10, you could probably say 20 years, in a digital world.

Amy PD (11:08.571)
Yeah.

Melissa (11:08.972)
whether I was working in museums or whether I was running my own design agency, but you just age out of things. And also what happens is, is you become the manager, you become the creative director, you become the founder, you're not opening all the softwares, and you can't go very long without them getting down the road from you, right? I mean, there was a time and a place where I was quite fluent in whatever it might be, the Adobe Suite, and...

Amy PD (11:13.593)
Good point.

Melissa (11:37.11)
Now I can barely open the files. You know, somebody else is creating the artwork, I'm just reviewing it. And so I guess it's a natural progression of age and knowledge and sharing knowledge and just honoring the relationships and not looking at it as necessarily mentoring down or mentoring up or who's the mentor or who's the mentoree, but just...

Amy PD (11:41.041)
That's a good point. Sure.

Amy PD (11:52.291)
And just honoring the relationships, and not looking at it as necessarily mentoring down or mentoring up or who's the mentor or who's the mentoring, but just really just sort of celebrating and honoring what we as women can do for each other when we listen. Yes. To the table together. Yeah. And we share. Yeah. I think that's a really good point. And I love.

Melissa (12:04.68)
really just sort of celebrating and honoring what we as women can do for each other when we listen, when we come to the table together and when we share. Yeah, I think that's a really good point. And I love, I love working with younger women. You've hired a lot of people over the years. Yes, yes. Yeah. And I just think it's so great to meet, you know,

Amy PD (12:20.721)
I love working with younger women. I heard a lot of people over the years. Yes, yes. And I just think it's so great to meet women of all ages. But when I meet younger women, maybe 18 and up, I just am like, OK, do you want the secret sauce? Because I could save you like decades of things that you just.

Melissa (12:33.572)
women of all ages. But when I meet younger women, maybe 18 and up, I just am like, okay, do you want the secret sauce? Because I could save you like decades of things that you just, just trust me, they don't work. And I understand everybody has their own path, but these women, these younger women and all ages, just, I'm so in awe with them. And I think that's part of...

Amy PD (12:48.463)
Just trust me, they don't work. And I understand everybody has their own path. But these women, these younger women in all ages, just am so in awe with them. And I think that's part of why I love that connection. For me, it's so much about connection. just knowing that there's

Melissa (13:03.19)
you know why I love that connection. You know for me it's so much about connection and just knowing that there's man some really really smart women around us and out there and it makes me feel like as we move forward maybe one of our roles is a matchmaker or a cohort builder or a curator of

Amy PD (13:15.013)
man some really really smart women are around us and out there and it's like go girl.

Amy PD (13:28.421)
Mm -hmm.

Melissa (13:33.246)
different skill sets and different, you know, knowledge bases that are already living here in the Killing Project and how do we help facilitate the mental health professional finding the nutrition professional or the marketing professional finding the podcast professional or the AI expert finding the writer. And so that's one of the things I've been thinking about is

Amy PD (13:39.227)
Yeah.

Amy PD (13:46.341)
Yeah.

Amy PD (13:50.278)
Mm -hmm.

Amy PD (13:54.597)
the AI expert finding the writer and so that's that's one of the things I've been thinking about is that sort of curating of women's skills and knowledge basis and that sort of matchmaking between them we're we're very good and natural at doing that in our own lives and careers but how do we expand that into official spaces and places yeah

Melissa (14:02.252)
That sort of curating of women's skills and knowledge bases and that sort of matchmaking between them. We're very good and natural at doing that in our own lives and in our own careers, but how do we expand that into official spaces and places on the internet or through the podcast or through the community? Yeah, that's a great point because we have so many women now in Ignite.

Amy PD (14:24.621)
Yeah, that's a great point because we have so many women now in Ignite on Facebook. man, we have some incredible, we have a variety of, we have authors and writers, mean everything. And so I like how you're talking about that matchmaking or that connecting. And because sometimes, especially with

Melissa (14:30.942)
Facebook and man we have some incredible yeah you know we have a variety of authors and writers I mean everything and so I like how you're talking about that that matchmaking or that you know connecting mm -hmm and because sometimes especially with with entrepreneurs or I know for me

Amy PD (14:52.291)
entrepreneurs or I know for me working, you know, there's times where it feels lonely because maybe I'm not with similar colleagues, you know, being a little bit more independent worker. And so finding those other other women in the industry or who have different challenges, similar challenges, you know, there's there's something to be said for that. So.

Melissa (14:56.226)
working, you know, there's times where it feels lonely because maybe I'm not with similar colleagues. You know, being a little bit more independent worker. And so finding those other women in the industry or who have different challenges, similar challenges, you know, there's something to be said for that. So. Yeah.

I've been experimenting, it's kind of outside or adjacent to the Kindling Project this last year, with building some small sort of mastermind or coaching groups. All the women that I'm doing that with happen to be members of the community. Many of them have been podcast guests. Some of them were speakers on our big Kindle Her Fire stage. But not necessarily like,

Amy PD (15:22.371)
experience.

Amy PD (15:26.91)
this year with Bill.

Amy PD (15:34.181)
I love that.

Amy PD (15:40.561)
Some of them were speakers on our big Kindle Her Fire stage. But not necessarily like one of the groups I'm in, there's a fashion and retail executive, there's an attorney, there's a health food and childhood nutrition expert, and then there's myself, marketing design expert, and then we have a fifth woman who has

Melissa (15:50.198)
One of the groups I'm in, there's a fashion and retail executive, there's an attorney, there's a health food and childhood nutrition expert, and then there's myself, a marketing design expert, and then we have a fifth woman who has spent her year in nonprofits managing organizations. And so those are very diverse backgrounds, but...

Amy PD (16:09.745)
spent her year in nonprofits managing organizations. And so those are very diverse backgrounds, but we find ourselves being able to share our knowledge and the crossover and the sort of richness that happens in that kind of medley. so that's something that I feel like you and I are interested in pursuing here. Maybe we have those conversations, maybe we get five women around the microphone on the podcast, maybe we do some small group meetings.

Melissa (16:17.708)
we find ourselves being able to share our knowledge and the crossover and the sort of richness that happens in that kind of medley. And so that's something that I feel like you and I are interested in pursuing here is maybe we have those conversations, maybe we get five women around the microphone on the podcast, maybe we do some small group meetings, maybe we develop some coursework so that women can do this in their community through a workbook.

Amy PD (16:39.653)
maybe we develop some coursework so that women can do this in their community through a workbook. That's definitely a thought that I've had and I feel like I'm to hear.

Melissa (16:46.072)
But that's definitely a thought that I've had and I feel like you and I are sort of in real life doing a beta test of it. You through hiring and managing interns and growing the mental health practice that you're part of and then myself, you know, just kind of doing it on my own time. I have actually done larger masterminds. I think I've mentioned them. I've done some economic development.

Amy PD (16:51.739)
sort of in real life doing a beta test of it. You through hiring and managing interns and growing the mental health practice that you're part of. And then myself, you know, just kind of doing it on myself at my own time. I have actually done larger masterminds. I think I've mentioned them. I've done some economic development kind of programs or cohorts through Goldman Sachs and

Melissa (17:16.004)
kind of programs or cohorts through Goldman Sachs. I still think there's a space for this kindling project version of it that's very female driven, woman specific, and has a mentality of authenticity and looking in and kind of getting back to all our original language of so many women have, you know, they have a little fire inside that needs a little kindling.

Amy PD (17:21.871)
I still think there's a space for this kindling project version of it that's very female driven, woman specific, and has a mentality of authenticity and looking in and kind of getting back to all our original language of so many women have, you know, they have a little fire inside that needs a little kindling. And what is that? And how do we?

Melissa (17:45.356)
What is that and how do we make that space for each other?

Amy PD (17:47.447)
make that space for each other. I love how you just worded that. That's like so fabulous. And what I really admire about you, Melissa, is you do have those like very, you know, they are fancy friends, but they're incredibly successful women. And I love that you have, you know, really, well,

Melissa (17:50.862)
just worded that that's like so fabulous. Yeah. What I really admire about you, Melissa, is you do have those like very, you know, I don't, they are fancy friends, but they're incredibly successful women. And I love that you have, you know, really welcome them into TKP, but they have been so incredibly instrumental in,

Amy PD (18:11.823)
welcome them into TKP, but they have been so incredibly instrumental in supporting TKP, in supporting you, supporting me. And gosh, these women are amazing. know there's Linda and Stacey and Pam, Camille and Sonya.

Melissa (18:17.642)
in supporting TKP is supporting you supporting me and gosh these women are are amazing I know you know there's Linda and

Stacey and Pam and Camille Yeah, Sonya. Yeah We just have some Super heavy hitters, right? And and and when you are at the table with those women Everything just vibrates at a different energy in a different level but also When you talk to them about what's important to them it is this sort of mentorship conversation. It is giving back

Amy PD (18:40.792)
Yes.

Amy PD (18:57.463)
is giving back. It is saving other women time or sparing other

Melissa (18:58.858)
It is saving other women time or sparing other women the hard earned lessons. I think that's important to all of us and that's sort of the ethos of what we're doing. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. It's giving back what was so freely given to us. Yeah. And I think the common denominator, regardless of an industry that you're in or wherever you are,

Amy PD (19:11.151)
Yeah, yeah, that's that's a good point it's you know giving back what was so freely given to us and I think the common denominator regardless of an industry that you're in or wherever you at you are in your life I think a lot of it is about The same you know it's it's about listening. It's about validating. It's about

Melissa (19:27.97)
I think a lot of it is about the same. It's about listening, it's about validating, it's about that space, it's about cheering each other on. A lot of us crave those things and those I think are common denominators. Yeah, mean, one of our core values that you and I wrote down, it seems like ages ago,

Amy PD (19:37.017)
that space, it's about cheering each other on. A lot of us crave those things and those I think are common denominators.

Melissa (19:56.654)
was to be brave. it never fails to hit a chord with me how hard it is to be brave. And then it actually requires bravery to be authentic and to be true to yourself, to put yourself first, to listen to yourself. And no matter how many times we hear it, the messages are out there, right?

Amy PD (19:58.587)
Good point.

Amy PD (20:11.259)
Yeah.

Amy PD (20:14.726)
and no matter.

Amy PD (20:20.378)
and the messages are out there, right? We're being told all the time to be brave and to be authentic and to take care of ourselves and to put our needs first, but it's almost as if it can't be said enough. That's true, but also, you know, you might see that like on a board at TJ Maxx or you see it at... It's a plaque. Yeah, it's a plaque, but then I'll put on my mental health hat and say, but how? How?

Melissa (20:22.232)
We're being told all the time to be brave and to be authentic and to take care of ourselves and to put our needs first. But it's almost as if it can't be said enough. That's true. But also, you know, you might see that like on a board at TJ Maxx. Right. It's a plaque, right? Yeah, it's a plaque. But then I'll put on my mental health hat and say, but how? How? do you? OK, fine. It can't be dumbed down.

Amy PD (20:48.623)
Do you, okay, fine. It can't be done down. Right. It's a process. It is, it is. It's like, okay, we'll be brave. It requires community. Right, how do I do that? Tell me how to do it. That's my question because one of the things that I've always said, Melissa, is that being brave or being strong or being courageous, it doesn't typically feel like that when we're in it.

Melissa (20:52.948)
It's a process. It is. It's like, okay, we'll be brave. It requires a community. Right. How do I do that? Tell me how to do it. That's my question because one of the things that I've always said, Melissa, is that being brave or being strong or being courageous, it doesn't typically feel like that when we're in it. So true.

Amy PD (21:18.201)
You know, I did some very brave things this year. Yes, you did.

Melissa (21:18.944)
I did some very brave things this year and I felt flattened and destroyed while I was doing them. I mean, just drain to the bone, tears, requiring some therapy and coaching and a little bit of extra wine at night. All the things, right? But I do recognize on the other side, we got through that. We got through that. You get through it and you're like, I survived.

Amy PD (21:25.093)
Yes, Yep.

Amy PD (21:37.553)
Yeah.

Amy PD (21:44.047)
Yes. We got through that. You get through it and you're like, I survived. Right. I got through it. And that's something that, you know, when I have patients that come to work with me, there's no way around it anymore. You know, it's like that book I remember reading to the boys, I think it's called Going on a Bear Hunt. they say, can't go through it. Or no, we can't go over it. We can't go under it. We can't go around it. We have to go through it. And that's part of.

Melissa (21:48.694)
Right. got through it and that's something that you know when I have patients that come to work with me there's no way around it anymore you know it's like that book I remember reading to the boys I think it's called going on a bear hunt. yeah. They say we can't go through it or no we can't go over it we can't go under it we can't go around it we have to go through it and that's part of when it comes to doing all the things that we talk

Amy PD (22:14.105)
when it comes to doing all the things that we talk about. And I think that's one of the reasons why you're not gonna see me standing on the corner saying, be brave, be bold, be this, because it's so easy to say it, but to do it, it's a whole different conversation. And that's part, I think, of the mentorship, of the connections, is connecting with other women that...

Melissa (22:17.564)
And I think that's one of the reasons why you're not gonna see me standing on the corner saying, be brave, be bold, be this, because it's so easy to say it, but to do it is a whole different conversation. And that's part, I think, of the mentorship, of the connections, is connecting with other women that have had that type of adversity, that have had to be brave.

Amy PD (22:41.03)
have had that type of adversity, that have had to be brave, because a lot of us do, just because of life circumstances.

Melissa (22:45.464)
because a lot of us do, just because of life circumstances. A lot of times there's not a choice, right? Exactly. Right, you have to go through it. There's not, And I think being able to process and being able to integrate the life experience with others is so super valuable. Yes, and I know this for sure. I can definitely say this for both of us, is that surrounding ourselves with other women,

Amy PD (22:51.255)
Exactly. There's not. Yeah.

Amy PD (23:03.407)
Yes, and I know this for sure. can definitely say this for both of us, is that surrounding ourselves with other women that just get it, you know, that there's not gonna be that judgment, there's not gonna be that...

Melissa (23:13.986)
that just get it, you know? There's not gonna be that judgment, there's not gonna be that... Like artifice, this sort of artificial... What is that, like a costume or a mask or a face that so many of us are wearing? Let's just let that go. Right, yeah, that's like, I call those smoke screens. There are these things that maybe we...

Amy PD (23:25.071)
Yes.

Amy PD (23:30.033)
yeah

Amy PD (23:35.409)
Right. Yeah, that's like I call those smoke screens. You know, there there are these things that maybe we want to present to be this way. But I think that's one of the pluses of for me, at least turning 50. I'm not doing that anymore. And not that I even thought I did before, but but it's more internal that this is how we're showing up. And hey, you know, this is it. And this is the best that you're going to get. And guess what? It's enough.

Melissa (23:42.436)
present to be this way. But I think that's one of the pluses of for me at least turning 50. I'm not doing that anymore. And not that I even thought I did before. Right. But it's more internal that this is how we're showing up and hey, you know, this is it. And this is the best that you're going to get. And guess what? It's enough. Yeah, it's enough. But I think that's another. And it really is enough, Amy.

Amy PD (24:04.529)
It's enough. But I think that's another.

Melissa (24:10.936)
Because I hear over and over again that it's resonating with others. So the closer we get to our truth and the more honest and vulnerable we get, the more value I think we can provide. Yeah, yeah, I know. There's so many words that I just want to talk more about, that you're mentioning, vulnerability, truth. That could be a theme for the podcast. we're just getting kicked off here on Labor Day.

Amy PD (24:14.637)
Mm

Amy PD (24:24.079)
Yeah, yeah, I know. There's so many words that I just want to talk more about, you know, that you're mentioning vulnerability, truth. It has to be.

Melissa (24:39.884)
Maybe what we do is we center some conversations around really important words and maybe words that you've seen on the TJ Maxx plaque or you've seen them in a meme in your social media feed and you're getting tired of it and you're like, quit telling me to be brave or quit telling me to be vulnerable or what does that even mean? But let's have a deeper conversation about these themes in our lives.

Amy PD (24:43.953)
I'm going to write that down. Yeah, we can talk about what it's meant for us. And ideally, that's going to resonate.

Melissa (25:07.566)
we can talk about what it's meant for us and ideally that's gonna resonate and ideally, women will share these podcasts with other women who will say, yeah, I get it. If anything, there is some truth to this. So I think summarizing is that this is...

Amy PD (25:13.681)
You know women will share these podcasts with other women who will say yeah, I get it You know if anything there are there is some truth to this so you know I think you know summarizing is that This is this is part of what we want to fall under the kindling project is the idea of feeling supported of feeling connected of feeling the

Melissa (25:29.188)
part of what we want to fall under the kindling project is the idea of feeling supported, feeling connected, of feeling the okayness, if that's a word. Yeah. Of being vulnerable, of being humbled, and of saying, you know what? Belonging. Belonging. A place of belonging. Yes. Yep. 100%.

Amy PD (25:41.719)
Okay -ness if that's a word of being vulnerable of being humbled and Of saying you know what? Belonging yes. Yes. Yeah a hundred percent

Melissa (25:58.094)
Well, I am so glad to feel that I belong here with you, my friend. that's so sweet. Yeah. I know. It feels right and true. My nervous system is calm. I don't feel anxious about it in any way. so I'm just going to keep going down that path. Yeah, let's just keep going. Let's see what comes up. You know, let's see what our listeners are interested in as well.

Amy PD (26:03.851)
that's so sweet. I know, I know.

Amy PD (26:12.507)
same.

Amy PD (26:16.697)
Yeah, let's just keep going. Let's see what comes up. Let's see what our listeners are interested in as well. But I say we just keep plugging along. And I'm really excited to see how things evolve. So thanks for being on the journey with me, my friend.

Melissa (26:26.201)
But I say we just keep plugging along and I'm really excited to see how things evolve. So thanks for being on the journey with me, my friend. You're so welcome. Next time, Firestarters. Bye bye. Bye bye.

Amy PD (26:42.459)
Bye bye.